EmOtIoNaL GaL

i am 20! :D

2012-01-30T01:00:00.005+08:00

MY BIRTHDAY CAKE FROM SIPEI~` SUPER NICE OF HER TO BRING IT PERSONALLY TO MY HOUSE TOO :DD

MY PRESENT FROM MY DEAREST CLIQUE IN JC~~ Luomin, Joycelyn, Yong chang , Jun hao and Jun ling~~ Gonna use this when i travel to taiwan this year :DD LOVE YOU GUYS FOR THE CAKE AND CARD TOO!! :D

Supposed to be a nice ribbon but i destroyed it~ as usual, i am a destroyer!

My dearest AFF made me a BIG BIG card~ with lots of her pics :D

MY PRESENT to make me feel that i am 20 :D also from AFF~ THANKSSS

20 20 20 20 20 20 in 2012 :D

SO EXCITING~

I finally hit '2' but kind of sad cuz i am OLDD.

HAHA~

Anyway, i am thinking of my 21st party bash already!

GONNA MAKE IT BIG AND LOUD~

I spend my birthday in malaysia and singapore. HAHA~ Basically, half of the day travelling from malaysia to singapore and another half of the day eating? Not a rather nice way to spend it though. Anyway, i am thankful to have a bunch of great friends to make it up for me!! LOVE THESE GREAT PPL~~

2012 Resolution :DD

2012-01-01T14:45:00.002+08:00

Looking at my 2011 Resolutions.. I found out that I only achieved a few! LOL.. I think i was too lazy for some and maybe dont really have any luck for the others!

FOR 2012, I wanna it to be a very excited year so my motto for the year is

BE BOLD! :D

1) MUG HARD AND ACES MY EXAM! ( Prove to myself that i am in the right way!)

2) Do marathon! ( signed up for sundown! gonna get myself a good running shoes and start to train for it :D)

3) Going to travel to more than ONE country! (Malaysia, Australia, Hong Kong, Taiwan...)

4) Gonna write a chinese novel! :D

5) Gonna make a map for my prince so that he will not get lost for another year! :DD

6) go to flea and sell my products :D

7) LEARN DANCEE! i must really sign up for dance lesson!

8) find a new job to pursue number 7! :D

9) Enjoy the year~ :D

Reflection on 2011!!

2011-12-29T20:53:00.002+08:00

I know i am too early but i got a lot of stuff to do for the next few days so i gonna be this early then!! HAHA! That is a super long sentence.

2011 to me is kind of..... boring? not really exciting as what i feel for other years? It is my resolution for 2012 to join all stuffs and try out NEW things :D (first thing for the year is CLUBBING!! YES LM, i am really going to try) ok ok! I am supposed to talk about my 2011!

Though it is a boring year, i definitely learnt several life lesson and gained new perspective in things. (the korean drama which is playing now is very irritating. the parents always objected the marriage of the children! then the couple fight and blah... haiz..! )

To keep things short, i will sum 2011 into 3 points?

1. A level result! This totally prove that how hard you study doesnt mean your result will prove it. My result seriously sucks and it is first time in my life that i am standing at a junction. For my other friends, it seems so easy for them. They receive acceptance letters and even have choices to make between all the university in Singapore. ME? I cant do anything till to my GP, though i kept telling other people that i am ok and fine. In actual fact, i am just upset and unhappy. However, i came to a point that the university doesnt matter but the courses you choose and what you want to choose matter. I dont want to get into a university just because the name of university is nice. I just want to get good grades and go to my dream job which is a finance industry or economist? :D ( that's part of the reason why i dont want to choose peking university. i think study chinese is really not my path) ANYWAY, i got what i want, my economics and finance, i am gonna strive hard and work my way to LSE for master :D FIRST CLASS HONOURS, HERE I COMEE!

2. friendship. I guess at different point of life, you will start to realise that not all friendships really have friend forever. However, there are some friendships that can grew stronger and even better. 2011, is the year where i started to connect to all my sec school buddy and had stronger bond with them. (LM,LY, ZY, SP, EM, CJ and more) Though we didnt really talk during our jc years, we are still able to talk and share our secrets with each other. Of course, i met new friends in my university and start to socialise. They really taught me a lot of stuff like all the brands and things. I really hope that we can continue to be good buddy for outing and even in studying too :P

There are always 2 sides of views for everything. Friendship is definitely one of them. I know it is quite irrational to say this thing. However, since the person is frankly a open person, i guess the person will not mind. Even if she does mind, i hope she dont take this as personal attack cause i just want to say it from my view. This is really my first time facing two friends that i know and broke up with each other. What i really know is that, i dont know how to face the two parties. I mean i dont mind sitting though to listen to your side of the story but the only person who willing express the feeling of how he felt is one person. Another party? I am totally unaware of it. I tried my best not to put any judgment to it until i hear your side of story. Sadly, i did not know anything until the recent confrontation. I dont know if your new friends are as great as you thought they are, but i am just upset that our two years of friendship is just to avoid awkwardness and dont want to burden us with your stuff. Maybe all these are my complaints but i dont really care!!

3. family and God! It is really been a while since i really prayed and everything. This year, i decided not to go cell group at all. My cell group leader has been calling and really wanna do a closure with me but i am just reluctant to do it. I am being childish. YES! But have they really thought about how we feel? We are thrown everywhere and finally to the adult cell group which after that they hope to throw us to the school cell group. It is like everywhere as if we dont belong to anything. I dont blame God but i care how they ignore our feelings and insisted that we must still attend the cell group though half of the time we dont understand what are they talking about! So, i left and decided to just be alone?

My family members are really great and helpful. Actually, they are the one who pull me though my difficult times! They are the ones who really shown me my other choices of university and supported my decisions :D Thanks for showing me the care and concern i need :D LOVE YOU :DD

All in all, i will look forward to 2012! It will be a better year filled with love, hope and laughter :DD

(gonna post my resolution on 1 jan :D and celebrate my bd on 24 jan :DD)

WEIRD~

2011-12-11T00:27:00.002+08:00

This is seriously bothering me, so i decided to blog about it.

I was told that army life is very boring. Ok.. I dont deny it even though i never been though it. Anyway, my main point is my friend came up with a theory that if they cant find a girl to sms for another 52 weeks which is a year, then army life will be super sucky! This is by far, the weirdest theory i ever heard of!

I understand how sms-ing someone will keep you entertained because you get to talk to someone. BUT, by using a talk with girl to be accompanied during your army life, it is like very bad! OR can I just say that a jerk will do that? I mean, what will happened after that? You get your entertainment and the girl get disturbed! Are we paid to entertain you? Are we even oblige to entertain you? Then if the conversation gets boring, the guys will give up and eventually the girl will also give up.

WAIT.

From the guy's view, it will "the girl must be bored and dont want to talk to me anymore/ I see no future with this girl/ this girl is really boring and we has nothing to talk already" . Then, how about the girl part? I bet the guys never really bother to walk in our shoes? I dont mind if you entertain me with jokes or some interesting stuff but NOT EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of the day! (personal view.. some girls may prefer another way but i dont understand how they live with it.) Instead of telling how boring your army life, cant you be more positive about army or even life?

Haiz...

OH YA. The best part is he compare the "sms life span" he had with this girl to another girl. Are girls item or even like food? We got expiry date from you? There must be a reason why we stop talking to you. Instead of saying that it is our fault, why cant it be both party problem? We got a life and we need to move on. I bet the next moment you will just want to find another girl to continue to entertain you. Then what are we? It's ok for guys to keep talking to different girls. Why is it not ok for girl to talk to different guys too?

Next time, when you want to talk to a girl during army life, make sure she is the one that you are looking for. Dont google for girls and keep all the results in multiple tabs. We aint someone who you can choose to close the tab. We also have the right to switch the com and make you lose all the results!

HAHAHAHA!

finally, i dont feel so troubled by it anymore :D

what am i doing?

2011-11-11T21:07:00.002+08:00

i just realised that i always complain to other how fake you are.

In fact, the real faker is me.

I act in front of you as if I treat you as my best friend but in actual fact i dont want you to be. Am i doing it for everyone or i am just tired to fight with you anymore? I dont understand how can you carry on with your life. You like to scold your friends and complain about them in front of others. I wonder do you do that to me too? Act in front of me and then complain to others. I am really scared that truth is overpowering me. Can you just leave my life? Can stop making the scars more distinct? I avoid talking to you, avoid having conversation to you. I dont live in your world, why must i obey your rules? Leave me alone, maybe everything will be better. Then, i no need to be faker anymore. I dont need to express my unhappiness to other people. It will then not longer be vicious cycle!

心也有累的时候，

它害怕再次受伤，

所以它选择逃避。

也许，

离开是我们最好的抉择。、

i am just bored ;D

2011-10-09T19:55:00.001+08:00

爱情就像是一列火车，你在站台上错过了这一班，总觉得不要紧还有下一班，于是等阿等，才发现刚才经过的就是最后一班。所以，遇上了就请珍惜，不要错过。——《全球热恋》

错误的爱情就像坏死的肌肉一样，一定要早日切除，虽然会痛不欲生，但是唯一活命的机会.

如果两个人走不到最后，再美好的过程，你会巴不得它是一片空白。

宁静

2011-07-12T02:50:00.004+08:00

夜深人静，一个人，

才发现，宁静在陪伴我。

原来，一个人并不孤单，

只是寂寞会来找你你聊天。

寂寞走了，宁静还没走，

至少痛苦没有来敲门。

无所事事时，最怕想念，

因为她总是和后悔在一起。

每次看到她们，苦恼会出现。

他不解他们为何总是苦着脸。

我也想知道答案，就问了珍惜，

他给了回忆的相簿。

我把回忆的照片看了一遍，

有快乐跟我一起的合照。

笑容帮我化了妆，

幸福是我们的背景。

灿烂阳光，一个人

却了解，宁静已感动了我。

如果有一天

2011-07-08T01:36:00.002+08:00

如果有一天，我们再次遇见。。

你会跟我挥手，还是默默地走开？

也许我们的相遇是偶遇，但也可以是一种天意。

因为人与人的遇见，总需要一点缘份。

挥手，是礼貌。

走开，也是礼貌。

你可能已经忘了我们的开始。

我却无法记得我们的结束。

曾经的笑容，温暖的问候及无理的吵闹

填满的回忆，湿透的纸巾和痛苦的沉默

逃避成为我的避风港

我承认

懦弱是我的坚持

不是因为我害怕

是我不要再有另一个人受伤害

多余的言语只会

成为误会的机会

所以，我放弃。

若再继续，恐怕连甜蜜的回忆都会成为恶魔的礼物。

我希望我的弃权是解脱

让你没有理由再把我当成笑话

下次见面，

你不用选择。

因为我会先走开。

假装也许是最厉害的武器

2011-06-12T21:57:00.002+08:00

每个人都戴着一张面具

伪装真实的自己

等待另一个人倒下后

再把面具拿下

拼命地将盐撒在伤口上

每个人都戴着一张面具

收藏着自己的感情

不会轻易掉泪

因为泪水成为懦弱的表现

坚强的外表是空虚的城墙

每个人都戴着一张面具

表情是假的心是真的

隐瞒着自己的想法

为了是不值的面子

捍卫的是别人眼中的自己还是自己眼中的别人

每个人都戴着一张面具

不容许别人拿下自己的面具

却喜欢拿下别人的面具

或许世上唯一的游戏是找面具后面的自己

不是别人找到你是自己找到自己

我的面具

我的伪装

我不知道

2011-05-14T14:59:00.002+08:00

两个素不相识的陌生人，
因为一则简讯，
而开始了不凡的人生旅程。

他是她要找的好情人？
还是，
她是他要的好朋友？

第一回(Melody)

真是一个莫名其妙的下午，无端端就和一个陌生人聊了起来。
起初，我还以为他是我的好朋友，故意来恶整我。所以，我就配合他。但后来，我发现他真的对我一无所知时，才相信他不认识我。
这可能就是所谓的缘份吧！他刚好失恋，而我又有空当他的听众。
说也奇怪，他为了找人诉苦，就乱按了八号码。就这样，一切就从那则简讯而开始。

"为什么要离开我？你已偷走我的心。为什么不要负责任呢？"

这个人是不是有毛病？我又不是小偷，而且心脏有这么容易就能拿出来吗？看在本姑娘有时间的份上，就指点你一下吧！

"哈哈，我不是小偷。所以不能负责任。诺你不满你的心被偷，就报警。我相信警察会尽力帮你的"

"警察？爱情也有警察的话，就希望他们能把所有的爱情骗子给抓起来。"

"爱情怎么可能会有骗子？你是心甘情愿地爱他，你就不应该强求他会爱回你。所以，没有骗不骗，只有真爱还是假爱。"

"我真的爱她，为她付出了这么多。最终得到是一场空。"

"爱情本来就没有回报。你把爱情当投资？"

这个人真的太自私吧！只为自己着想，却没有为对方着想。

"那她当初就不答应我的求婚，我就不必这么伤心了。"

其实，他也蛮可怜的。爱一个人能爱得那么深。真希望自己是那个女人。

"或许，她有什么苦衷，所以不能和你结婚。你就不要太伤心了。你这么痴情，一定会找到更好的。"

＂我不要找到更好的。我想当她的守护天使。只要她开心，我就开心了。"
我默默地祝福他。希望他真的替她找到她要的幸福。
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
他爱她，
所以他守护着她。
我可怜他，
所以我陪着他。

第二回(Melody)

一加一是二

诺爱情也可以照这个理论，
世界会不会少了失恋，多了幸福？
两个相爱的人就在一起。
没有移情别恋，
没有第三者，
也没有所谓的分手。

但是，事实是你爱的人，不一定会爱上你。
他爱的人也不会是你。爱情并没有一加一是二的道理。

就像他们一样，他以为他是她的惟一。
但是在结婚前，她才发现自己并不爱他。

所以，她悔婚了。

他应该觉得庆幸，
至少他在结婚前知道真相。
她也应该觉得开心，
因为她没有嫁给她不爱的男人。

命运就是这么愚弄人，
当你以为幸福来了，
它却悄悄地走了。

我理解他的感受，所以我愿意陪他，听他的心事。
或许，我也曾希望自己寂寞时，有一个可以倾诉的对象。
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为了爱，
我听她的话。
为了爱，
我骗了她。

第三回(Alex)

我不知道我所做的一切是否是对的。她要我这么做，我就会去这么做。
诺爱一个人会失去理性，那我真的疯了。我爱她，所以会不顾一切地去满足她的要求，甚至是伤害别人。

我不知道是她变了，
还是，
我爱疯了。

刚认识她时，她是一个开朗的女生。我喜欢上她爽朗的个性，更爱上她的笑容。一直以来，我都相信她所说的话。这可能就是爱吧！
自从她提出这个计划后，她开始变了，她变成了我不认识的她。迷人的笑容，善良的个性，全都消失。

瞬间，
我所认识的她好像走了。
是我多疑了吗？
但是，
我愿意听她的话，
因为我真的很爱她。
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面具，
是一种伪装。
她的面具，
是一种假装。

第四回(Alex)

为什么？

我知道她不是她，却仍决定帮她。我帮她实现她的复仇计划。接近她，对她好，让她爱上我，然后在抛弃她。

这么简单却伤人的计划，我同意了。

为什么？

在那善良的面孔，藏着不畏人知的一面。
我发现了，并没有醒来。
爱就有这股能耐，能够让人忘了人性。

她真的很可怜。
我却不能去同情。
我的所做所为是对的吗？

我不知道，也不想知道。
只要最终能得到她的爱，就是值得的。
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缘分来了，
是谁说的？
爱情来了，
是你告诉我的。

第五回(Melody)
已经几天了，我们仍然处于聊天状态。你告诉我今天她做了什么，而你又怎么帮助她。我只是默默作你聆听的对象。或许看太多的爱情故事，我偶尔也会想象。
我会想象我是她。
我会想象守护天使。
我会想他如何帮助她，
我会想象他爱的人是我。
我会想象。。。。。。
所以，为了这个单纯的想象，我愿意花时间和精神。我愿意赌上一个奇迹。我相信你的守护会有回报。她会明白你的心意，而再次回到你的身边。

如果世界只有相信，
会不会将复杂变得简单？
因为有了相信，
就没有怀疑，
更没有迟疑。

人与人之间，
会不会少了距离，
多一点关心？

倘诺他爱的人是我，
那该有多好？
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爱情是一场赌注。
只有赢或输，
他输了她，
却赢了我。

第六回(Melody)

“你觉得我做得对不对？”

“。。。。。。”

我从来没有见过你的未婚夫。我怎么可能会知道你解除婚约是不是对的。

“只要你选择的是你爱的人，我没有意见。”

“我就知道我没有做错的选择。JERRY 的性格比他好。你知道吗？那天，JERRY。。。。。。”

“你有没有在听？”

“我在听，你就继续说吧！”

我的好朋友兴奋地说她的新男朋友有多好。如果她已确定自己的选择，那又何必说这么多话来肯定自己呢？
我倒是可怜她的前未婚夫，因为有这样的未婚妻才会有如此的下场。
这么一想，他和他的情况十分相似。
唉！这世界有这么多失恋的人？
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

人性是什么？
是同情，
还是原谅？

第七回(Alex)

跟她聊了几天，我发现她其实是个善良的女生，并没有她所说的那么坏。
她喜欢与别人聊天。她会画画，也会跳舞。
她很糊涂，常常忘记刚做的事。
她很善良，就算不认识我，也肯听我的故事。

她为何恨她？
喜欢把她说地一文不值，又喜欢把自己说地很可怜。
我到底应该同情她还是她？

我不知道，
我只知道，
我好像爱上另一个她。
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

我坚信，
你没变，
是我变了。

第八回(Alex)

“Jerry 是谁？”

“他是我的好朋友。”

“就朋友而已？”

“对！不要胡思乱想！我们的计划进展如何？她爱上你了吗？”

“我不确定，但是我们每天都有联络。”

“那就好，我看每当她提起你，就会笑得合不嚨嘴。她好像喜欢上你了！不如趁热打铁，跟她表白。”

“真的要这么做？”

“当然，我们不是说好了吗？”

“我。。。。。。”
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爱情的价值，
是用什么来衡量？
值不值得，
又是谁来决定？

第九回(Alex)
从他的简讯中，我好像交了一个新朋友。我知道这个新朋友喜欢吃什么，看什么，甚至怕什么，她的性格爽快，爱说什么就说什么。所以，他总是得出现，帮她打圆场。
诺可以的话。我真的应该去跟她做个朋友。
只是这个所谓的朋友应该是我要面对的情敌吧！

知己知彼，百战百胜！哈哈！

若有一个男人肯像他一样，这么爱我，我一定用我的一生去爱回他。

我爱上了他？
他成为聊天的对象，每次看到他的简讯，嘴角不自觉地翘了。每天都期待他的简讯，等待能与他聊天的时刻。
Sandy 说我爱上他了。

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

告白的那一刻，
风停了，
云不飘，
幸福的钟声响了。

第十回(Melody)

从相识到见面不到一年，我们就在一起了。这样的恋情，我相信一般人都不会接受吧。
我牵着你的温暖的左手，听着你的mp3，闻着快乐。这一刻，我希望时间会暂停。就算回忆只剩下那份温暖，那首歌和那个味道；我都会欣然接受。

这是我的第一次。
第一次，有人温暖了我的手。
第一次，有人动了我的唇。
第一次，看恐怖片，能够拉着别人的袖子，握紧别人的手。
第一次，下雨时，无需一个人淋湿。
第一次，寂寞时，能够打电话向别人投诉。
第一次，有一个人真心爱我。

我很开心，也很满足。但是，为什么你的脸上有着不安的表情呢？

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

被骗的人，
骗别人的人，
有什么不同？
都一样是受伤的人。

第十一话 (Alex)

她很天真，很可爱，让我很辛苦，又痛苦。

"可以不要继续计划了吗？"

"为什么？"

"我觉得不应该这样对待她。"

"我是无所谓，但是你不要忘记你的工作是谁推荐的。毁约是要付出代价的。"

"我。。。。。 "
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

你哭了，
我痛了。
是我的脸痛，
还是心在痛？

第十二话 (Alex)

她哭了！
这是我第一次看到她在我的面前落泪。

我未曾看过她伤心的面孔。她总是笑嘻嘻地地看着我。我还以为她就是开朗无忧的！

我伤了她的心，也伤了我的心。我的心出现了一个洞。她眼泪就像是我的心所流出的血一样，好多好痛！

为什么看着她伤心的离开，
我的脸并不痛，
而是心痛呢？

难道她没有打到我的脸颊，还是她的巴掌太轻了？

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

黑与白，
爱与同情，
我看不清楚，
也不想知道。

第十三话（Melody）

看着他一脸的愧疚，我不明白为什么他要骗我？
若他爱的是sandy，为什么要跟我告白？

我哭了，Sandy却笑了。
她不是我所认识的她。
她变得好恐怖！我开始怕她。
我要离开这个灰色地代。

一瞬间，我失去了几十年的好朋友。我也失去了我爱的人。心真的好痛好苦。眼泪流了再多，也掩饰不了那颗伤痕累累的心。

我累了。付出了真心，
得到的却是一把伤到自己的刀。
我相信世界上没有比我更笨的人。

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

好开心，
好复杂，
我说的好，
是真的好不好？

第十四回（Melody）

Jerry 与 Sandy 分手了。他等了我一个晚上，就为了解释他所爱的人是我。

Jerry，一个儿时朋友，去了美国这么久，却还记得我！他眉飞色舞地将事情的来龙去脉告诉我。原来，他不是故意要骗我，也已辞职了。

为了我，他付出了这么多。我真的懂他的爱是多么的踏实！但是，心中的感动却胜不了那一次的羞辱！我爱他，但只爱当时的那一个他。

我要忘记他。面对迎面而来的挑战，我只会选择逃！

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

幸福的地图，
我迷路了，
找不到出口，
也看不到天空。

第十五话（Alex）

我不接她的电话。
我却想电话给另一她。
我怕她不会接我的电话，更怕她会一个人哭。

难道我就像她所说的一样，我爱上她了？
我看着她的Facebook, 阅读着她的blog，心理默默的祝福着她。我只要你快乐，幸福。

我不在你的身边，你要坚强！
我无法保护你，你要懂得如何照顾自己。
我好希望有一个机器人，让它替我照顾你！

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

安全感，
终究是你要的。
安全感，
终究是我不能给的。

第十六回（Alex）

听到那则消息后，我呆了。或许，我连呆的资格也没有。你的决定是对的，他比我好一百倍。我相信他能给你幸福。

幸福？

这是我曾给你的承诺。

那天你问我，若有一天，我只能给你一样东西，我会给你什么？我说："幸福"。

你听了后，哭了！
我不知所措，只能帮你擦眼泪。
你的眼泪见证我的承诺。我们的无语成了那晚的结局。

你不说话，是因为你认为我不可能给你幸福？
还是，你太感动，所以不敢回答？
我猜不到你的回应，也不敢问你的感想。

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

失落，
失恋，
失去第一次爱的感觉，
是多么地心痛。

第十七话（Melody）

原来，失去爱的人是多么痛的感觉！
以前，朋友失恋时，都会去喝酒。她们希望能灌醉自己，忘记那一段感情。
而我也只会常常安慰她们，告诉她们旧的不去，新的不来。

旧的不去，新的真不会来。
但是，我只要旧的！我不要新的！
他不是我的男朋友而已！他是我的惟一！
我终于了解到她们所感受到的痛。

太阳依然升起，夜晚依然要降临。人们照常地上班，马路的车依然不少。惟独我的身边少了一个他，少了一个可靠的肩膀。

眼泪流了多少，心痛了几次，数不清，也不想知道。
我们的爱真的就这样结束？

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

幸福很简单，
你爱我，
我爱你，
那就是幸福了。

第十八话（Melody）

穿着白色婚纱，拿着美丽的鲜花，这是我从小就向往的情景。镜子里的我，似乎不是我。不知道是那个浓妆，还是紧张的关系，我感到十分不自在。

我的选择是对的。
我的选择一定是对的。
我反复的告诉自己像是要考试的小孩，拼命地记下对的答案。

对的答案？
他是对的人吗？

这是所谓的结婚恐惧症吗？不是，我害怕的不是结婚，而是。。。。。。
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

教堂的钟声，
白色的墙壁，
淡淡的香草，
你是我的对的人吗？

第十九回（Melody）

Jerry 对我很好。
我说什么，只要是他能办得到的，他就会尽力办到。

基本上，世界上没有他办不到的事。他是德氏集团主席的唯一儿子，又是一名医生。我说我要新的包，他立刻去买。我说我要吃法国餐，他会去定位。我说我喜欢大大的花园，他就找了园丁在我们的新家种花。

我很无理，也很霸道。
他却总是笑嘻嘻地说我很可爱。他对我越好，让我觉得更对不起他。

我曾问他，诺有一天，他只能给我一样东西，他会给我什么？
他说： "幸福。"

这句话好熟悉，似乎有人也曾说过。
同样的话，不同的心情，我对他的心不是珍惜，而是可怜。为什么他要对我这样好？

爱应该是这样吗？
找到一个爱你多过你爱他的人就能停下来吗？
我到底在犹豫什么，期待什么呢？

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

小手拉大手，
走向幸福广岛。
两颗心，
不再有距离。

第二十回（Alex）

原来幸福没有抛弃我，它一直都在我的左右。这些日子，我忙于沉浸在悲伤里，无视它的存在。

你认为她快乐吗？
她真的幸福吗？
你曾答应过的幸福，你给了吗？
这个故事没有我的角色了，但是女主角心目中的王子是谁，你应该知道。
不要在认为你放弃了，只有你在伤心，你有没有想过她的感受？

那天，Sandy 到办公室来找我，把我给吓坏了。她丢下这几句就走了。她骂醒了我，自己的幸福应该由自己去掌握。

这一次，
我不要再让谁来阻挠我，
我要回我的爱，
就算它曾是错爱。

------------------------------（结束〉---------------------------------------------

APRIL SIMPLY SUCKS

2011-05-01T22:00:00.002+08:00

Like my title, april simply sucks!

I didn't receive any uni letter. I feel damm sucky about it. Sometimes, i wonder will it be better if i didn't go to JC. However, if i didn't go to JC, i will not know my passion for economics and miss out a lot of great people that i knew in JC. In any case, what is done is done. I will just pray for the best. I had already applied for SIM. Some of my friends think that i applied too early but if i don't apply now, i will have to wait till next year. I don't want to work for so long, i rather go and study!! My family even wanted me to go and apply another two australia university. Anyway, i called and they said that with my grade ( looking at H2s only) , i will definitely get in. So, i should just wait for my application for University of London first then see whether i need to apply for another two unis. Kind of kiasu but i am doing what i like which is ECONS :DD It is so much better than just filfulling the path of going to uni but in a course that i don't like. "Do what you want. what you like" That is what my sisters kept telling me. They said that it's ok that the school fee is ex or i need to study longer. As long as i am doing what i like, all other things doesn't matter. GREAT FAMILY rite? :D

April is a like a shopping month. As long i didn't receive any news on that day, i will need to buy something like food or clothes to console myself. HAHA~ So practically, i brought many stuffs over this whole month. I brought three dresses, bracelet, shoes and many many more~ I feel like a shopaholic and i like it :D

Work is fun as usual, especially when i am doing part-time now. :D Work for lesser hours and earn more :D I am thinking of getting another part-time but still losing that movtivation to find one. HAHA~ I guess i should just be contented with one jobs then.

Friends? I really have no ideas about it. I talked to my family and other friends. They gave me different different advice. Sometimes, i don't even know who should i listen to. Maybe one of them is right, when i don't feel good, i should not tell anyone, just bury it somewhere will do. However, what are friends if we don't share our unhappiness? It will be just a group of people wearing a smile masks and kept laughing. I am good at pretending that i am happy, however it is unfair to those who i really treasured. I can put on a smile to entertain the world but the world will never put on a smile to entertain me. Unfair but true. Anyway, i came to this conclusion, i can't be your perfect friend but i can be perfectly me. I am who i am, if you can't accept it then just get out of my life. You can talk all you want about me, pretending that you know all about my life but the truth is you never bother to know me or even concern about my life. So, you just continue your way of living and i will be on my way to mine. THANK YOU!

I believed friends should never listen what others said about you and judge you. They see what you did and believed that you are what they see. In this case, i felt bad towards someone. She actually didn't do much but after lots of talking or discussions, she got a image of a bad person. I felt bad that i judge her based on what others told me. I should just continue to believe in what i see in her. Haiz.. If life is going to be like this, so be it.

All in all, i am quite excited for my uni life. Actually, i brought a lot of dresses for it :D So, it's better to be economics course and a good uni then :D

Mrach just passed

2011-04-04T12:45:00.002+08:00

Mr March was gone without me realising it. So, miss April is here. Haiz.. It is quite a troublesome month. At first, i thought it will be fun meeting all my friends and going chalets. It was then i realised i didnt really wanna go chalet. However, i have no idea what to say or should i just continue with the idea. I have no idea whether i know you or not. I guess my presence doenst make differences to you.

Work? I think it sucks and wonderful as well. I got lovely students who made my day and troublesome students who caused me so tired. Thanks God that i am working part-time, so i will find more time to enjoy then.

Uni? I didnt receive any acceptance yet. I am so freaking scared that my result is so sucking. But hey, i kept telling myself that at least Peking uni accepted me. Worse come to worse, i will just go beijing and study. There are even friends from other school contacted me and asked if i wanna stay in the same apartment as them. I dont mind but i dont know whether i can survive in Beijing. This is seriously the toughest two weeks that i gonna go through.

All in all, i can only conclude that April is a month of decision. Practically, the fate of my four or three years will be depends on these two weeks. However, i believed in God's plan and i will prosper as long as i listene to Him. God, please show me your plan clearly! I am quite blind and blur so reveal it to me k? :D

I hope this month will pass smoothly :D

Two years of hard work = nothing

2011-03-04T19:55:00.002+08:00

SUPER SIANZ..

Finally, I understand that not all the hard work will be paid off. I spend so much time on my gp and in the end, I still did not pass! WHAT IS THIS? I just feel like scolding all the bad words that i know to the WORLD. The best part is my sister still doubt that I did not work hard enough. WHAT THE! She did not even take A level and still dares to critise me? WHATEVER LA~

I still need to face reality. I failed and need to stand up again. What the point of getting A for my economics when i failed my gp? It simply sucks when i knew that i cannot really apply for any course. It is easy to say that apply for chinese course and that's it. However, is that what i really want to do? Be a teacher or just someone doing chinese job? I love to study economics and somehow find it easier than other subjects! My sister questioned that and even forced me to think about it first. Who is she to ask about it? My father chose her course and she is doing well now. For me, i need to find all informations and do it alone. When i made my decision, she just kept saying no. Come on, my dad work super hard to send you to uni. Now that he is gone, why not you be the one to work hard? It is not as if that i cannot study or i do not like to mug! The point is you are just not willing to send me there.

Why?

I am super eager to study there. At least, i got a new environment to start something new. Expenses and adaptation, i need time and chance to try right? If i do not have the chance, how do even know that i cannot? You insist that i am always in my comfort zone and will not be able to survive. Even if i studied in Singapore, i am still in my comfort zone. What are the differences?

I think i will take a lot of time to get over it.

GP SUCKS!

Awesome January

2011-01-30T01:32:00.003+08:00

It has been an awesome January!

My birthday BBQ, end of A level, no mugging life and start of work! Chinese new year is coming! Haha~ I am just being random! Thanks for the great presents! I had new wallet, ear pieces and bag :D these are what I need for university! Lol.. I am quite prepared to go for university. Like what my mum said, in any case, I will get to university. Even my result sucks, I will just go Australia to study. Easy come, easy go! Don't be jealous!

I wanna talk about my cute students! Though they like to make me angry and bully me, but they are still very nice to me. I can feel the Lear ing passion in them. I guess my senior teacher was kind of shock when she see that my students participate so much in class. Haha! Feel knd of proud when I heard my students scoring A for their subjects :D today, I even heard students asking their friends to come for tuition because of the change Teacher which is me! Haha! Hearing students joke and saying bye bye to me, even though I am not teaching them that day, I feel satisfacted and awesome! Love it when students yeah because I am their teacher for the day! I start to wonder whether I should quit at April! Haiz... Tough choices!

Anyway, CNY is here!

All i got to say are words that you dont understand. Friends are people are that i treasured. I love to have many friends because i know there are many great people. There are also a lot of different people. Some people are just not the way you want them to be. What can i say? I really treasured our friendship and if this thing end like that, there is nothing i can do. It takes two hands to clap. Come on, if you know me for so long, you should know better than other, who am I. Words, can be distraction but i believe time will make you realise what is really going on.

喜欢

2011-01-07T14:53:00.003+08:00

有一种感觉，它很特别。
因为只有你知道，其他人感觉不到。
当它来的时候，你一定会知道。

这感觉很独特，因为唯独他/她在时，它才出现。
它使不自觉地感到快乐。
它让你做出反常的举动。

我所说的就是喜欢的感觉。

喜欢与爱不同，
我喜欢你不代表我爱你。

但是，
喜欢与爱又有一个灰色地带。

if only history can repeat, i will change some part of it.
i regret not letting the truth out but i know i am too late already.

2011~ :D

2011-01-01T09:51:00.002+08:00

Yo!!! HAHA~ The time is 9.52 AM :D I am still awake and able to write this post. Today is 1/1/11 :D My favourite number 1111~ (ok la, one digit lesser but who cares)
I am really very excited to write this post because

1) I can't sleep though i didn't sleep for the past 20 hours :D
2) I am supposed to fall asleep like from the hangover but i am very very sober.
3) I just cleared my dog's pee which i think is better than the YC's puke~
4) I still need to wait for the lanudry and think of ways to hang those clothes.
5) I just found out that i didnt write new year resolution!! ( this is really bad! i didnt set it for 2010 and kind of upset about it!)

2011 countdown was kind of special. I didnt celebrate it in my house like i always do for the past 17 years. I went to friend's house or rooftop(to be specific) to celebrate. HAHA~ Other than that, it is also my first time, counting down with so many guys. (I am NOT a flirt but this is really my first time.) It was enjoyable with lot of alcoholic drinks. HAHA~ People truly found out how good i am as a drinker. Though my skins are easily red, but it only took a while for me to be sober. So, my alcoholic level is actually quite good :D Not something to be proud of, but i will still feel happy about it!

We had several talking sessions and i feel like WOW~ there are so much things that i need to think about when i am older. I remenbered a particular talking sesion which actually i am not involved but still stayed to hear. To be truthful, i didnt really worry about A level result. I mean, you took the exam and the result will be like that. The more i worry, the more i cant do anything. What is done, is done. Nothing can change. This probably due to my believe in God, i will trust everything i did to God. It will be all part of his plan. If i did well, i praise God. If i didnt, it is just one of the obstacle that God wants me to go through. If this is considered as optimistic, then i am! :D What choices do i have? Just go to overseas university like all my other siblings loh~

Another take away from the countdown, i seriously HATE smokers. I accept you as my friend but i will hate you when you are a smoker. When you told me, the reason is people change. I am like OK.. Why cant people change it for a better? What does smoking bring to you? JOY? HAPPINESS? It is nothing but a coupon ticket to cancer funfair! Your problems will not be gone because you smoke. You also dont look any cooler because you smoke! I hate that sinko smell that stuck to you and hate it more when you show that smoking is like nothing to me face! I really told you and advice you not to smoke. If you going to do that in other gatherings, SORRY! I gonna hate you! If you want to forget your problems, i dont mind drinking with you, let you have a chance to just talk all your problems. BUT... I will NEVER EVER advice you to smoke! So, for once, you can stop smoking for love; can you also stop smoking for friends?

that's all for countdown! time for resolutions!

2011 NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS :D

1) Read bible and do quiet time ( this is simple to say but difficult to do especially when you are in a non-christian home)
2) Spend more time with family! ( since i like to organise outing for friends, i should start to organise it for my family too~)
3) i gonna learn DANCE :D hip hop or something like that!
4) i wanna to be volunteer in some events :D
5) i gonna save money and buy macbook! :D
6) i gonna complete my driving test and get a license :D
7) i gonna get into a good university course~
8) i need to clear my closet and get some new dresses~
9) i gonna be tourist and visit all parts of Singapore like Singapore flyer~
10) i gonna know some good guys and hope to find my prince from there~
11) i gonna eat more salmon( which is like i always do :D )

2011~ So, it will be 11 resolutions then! :D

第七回 , 第八回

2010-12-10T15:36:00.001+08:00

人性是什么？

是同情，

还是原谅？

第七回

跟她聊了几天，我发现她其是个善良的女生，并没有她所说的那么坏。

她喜欢与别人聊天。她会画画，也喜欢跳舞。她很糊涂，会将简单的事变得很复杂。她很善良，就算不认识我，也肯听我的故事。

她为何这么恨她呢？喜欢把她说地一文不值，又喜欢把自己说得很可怜。我到底应该同情她还是她？

我不知道，

我只知道，

我好想爱了另一个她。

我坚信，

你没变，

是我变了。

第八回

"Jerry 是谁？"

"他是我的好朋友。"

"就朋友而已？"

"对！不要胡思乱想！计划进行的如何？她爱上了你了吗？"

"我不确定，但是我们每天都有联络。"

"那就好！我看她说聊到你，就会很开心。她好像喜欢你了！不如，就趁现在跟她告白！"

"真的要这做吗？"

"当然！我们不是说好了吗？"

"我。。。。。。"

第六回

2010-12-06T17:27:00.001+08:00

爱情是一场赌注,
只有赢或输。
他输了她，
却赢了我。

第六回

"你觉我做得对不对？"

"... ... "

我从来没有见过你的未婚夫。我怎么可能会知道你解除婚约是不是对的。

"只要你选择的是爱你的人，我没有别的意见。"

"我就知道我没有做错选择。Jerry的性格比他好。你知道吗？那天，Jerry。。。。。。"

"你有没有在听？"

"我在听。你就继续说吧！"

我的好朋友兴奋地说着她男朋友有多好。如果她已确定自己的选择，那又何必说这么多话来肯定自己呢？

我倒是可怜她的前未婚夫，因为有这样的未婚妻才会有如此的下场。

这么一想，他和他的情况十分相似。

哎！这世界有这么多失恋的人？

第五回

2010-12-06T17:26:00.001+08:00

缘份来了，
是谁说的？
爱情来了，
是你告诉我的。

第五回

已经几天了，我们仍处于聊天况态。你会告诉她今天做了什么，而你又怎么帮助她。我只是默默作你聆听的对象。或许看太多的爱情故事，我偶而也会想象。

我会想象我是她。
我会想象守护天使。
我会想象你如何帮她。
我会想象你爱的人是我。
我会想象。。。。。。

所以，为了这个单纯的想象，我愿意花时间和精神。我愿意赌上一个奇迹。我相信你的守护会有回报。她会明白你的用心，而再次会到你的身边。

如果世界只有相信，
会不会将一个复杂的世界变简单？

因为有了相信，
就没有怀疑，
更没有迟疑。
人与人之间，
会不会少了距离，
多一点关心？

倘若他爱的人是我，
那该多好啊？

confusion or complicated

2010-12-06T16:30:00.002+08:00

Confusion
If Facebook has this word for relationship status, i will just put that.

Complicated?
My relationship status is obiviously single, so it is not complicated.

Why am i confuse?

I know i like someone but i dont know who is it. HAHA~ Believe me, i really dont know. or maybe i dont even like anyone. OH MY~ i am so confused! HAHA~ I mean like is a feeling. It is just certain extent of hmmm.. ( no idea, wanna check the meaning of like in the dictionary but found crap about it. ) Now, i finally realised i dun really like anyone. That is truly amazing. Take my words, literally k? But i still love God, my family and friends :D

像白痴，我以为我爱上你。但是，其实，那不是爱。我想，那只是一时的冲动。现在，浪已走了，感觉也没了。诺有造成困扰，对不起。诺没有，那么谢谢你。因为你，我突然好像交了很多朋友。哈哈~

END OF A LEVEL~ :D

2010-11-26T21:17:00.002+08:00

HAHA~
I am really happy today :D
Can you imagine all the studies and worries that i had for past few months are all GONE~ :D
HAPPY TTM!

I hope my skin will get better, though it is still very red. But, who cares? At least A level is over! Time to find job, prepare for prom and learn to drive... AND maybe find my prince too~ HAHA! Sounds like a despo but i guess my friends will understand me :D

I just wanna blog about my joys and my feelings today!

I am really glad to be in nyjc with this group of friends. They really taught me how to study and have fun at the same time. Now that i no need to sms them whether we are gonna study tmr, i kind of miss it. HAHA~ Even though there are much to look forward after A levels, but i really miss our mugging time :D those time that we crap and bully me :( HAHA~ (P.S : it doesnt mean that i enjoyed the bullying hor.. i am not like pervert or weirdo who enjoys being bullied.) looking at those books that are pilling on my table, it's time to THROW THEM AWAY :D Oh man~ it is gonna be fun to throw books :D

What do i want to say?

Well, i dun know whether i should say this or not.

But my friends should understand that i can't really keep sercet or things to myself. I mean i will still unfair for her but still agree with what you all said loh. I am confused. This is really difficult! I used to think that people are simple and actions are taken easily. This is the reason why i am shocked when you all kept saying that her actions are planned. Haiz.. Isnt leading that kind of life tough? I mean everyday, you woke up and tell yourself that you need to pretend to be somebody. TOUGH MAN! I will rather not wake up, cause i am so afriad that someone else will realise my true colour~ Leading that kind of life is fake, i dun really think anyone can survived with two faces everyday loh! In my heart, i truly pity you. BUT~ SORRRY~ I am still afraid of that awkward time! :(( I am really tired of holding your hand when everyone asks me to let go. I am so sorry!

Other than her, i wanna blog about someone else too. People from different world are hard to connect together. I understand, therefore i dun force it. Feelings are wierd to me. I dun think i really treasure it until i lose it. I like the feeling of being loved. I llke the feeling that someone cares for me. I like the feeling that someone thought for me. Sorry if i am being too selfish but i like the feeling that someone loves me more than i love that someone. So, i will move on to find someone who loves me more than i love that someone. HAHA~ it is kind of bad for that someone but i like it! HAHA~ Anyway, the main point is things that are not fated, will not be together.

你有没有试过一个人在夜里独自哭泣？
我试过。
你有没有曾被一个很爱很爱你的人抛弃？
我受伤过。
你有没有在无助的时候，躲在一个角落？
我害怕过。

因为，
拥有这些经验，
我担心，我犹豫，我胆小，
我不愿在被这样伤害了。

我的痛，
我的泪，
我的心，
你了解吗？

第四回

2010-11-19T21:28:00.000+08:00

面具，

是一种伪装。

她的面具，

是一种假装。

第四回

为什么？

我知道她不是她，却仍决定帮她。
我帮她实现她的复仇计划。
接近她，对她好，让她爱上我，然后在抛弃她。

这么简单却伤人的计划，我同意了。

为什么？

在那善良的面孔，藏着不畏人知的一面。
我发现了，并没有醒来。爱就有这股能耐，能够让人忘了人性。

她真的很可怜。我却不能去同情。
我的所做所为是对的吗？我不知道，也不想知道。
只要最终能得到她的爱，就是值得的。

矛盾

2010-11-12T23:51:00.002+08:00

当我说可以的时候，不一定是可以。
当我说不要的时候，不一定是不要。

我承认我很难搞。（虽然有人说我很像一本书一样，容易猜到我在想什么。）
因为有时，我都不知道我要的是什么。

很矛盾，
但
那就是
我！

哈哈~

我刚刚想到一个很复杂的感情故事。

女生A喜欢男生B，但男生B喜欢女生C。
女生C是男生D的女朋友。
男生D是女生A的哥哥。

所以，
诺我是女生A，我的情敌是我的哥哥的女朋友。
诺我是男生B，我爱上了一个有夫之妇。
诺我是女生C，我会莫名其妙地被弟妹讨厌，却还有男性的好朋友。
诺我是男生D，我希望我不知道我的妹妹所喜欢的人喜欢我的女朋友，这样一来，我就不需要想太多。

如果是你，你选择做什么？

奇怪的人生

2010-10-29T18:17:00.002+08:00

人很奇怪。

有时，时运高，什么好事都会来。
有时，时运低，什么坏事都会来。

事情的好与坏，我不觉得跟时运有关，而是与人的本质息息相关。

人与树木不同，因为我们有感情。
人与动物不同，因为我们有思想。
人与人又不同，因为我们有个性。

所以，不如意的事情的发生，不能怪时间，应该怪的是你自己。因为你的个性才会导致事情的发生。

我不是蛮不讲理，认为一个人不能有自己的性格。
但是，如果当很多人觉得你的性格有问题时，是不是时候来做一个自我检讨呢？

人非圣贤，孰能无过。
你勇于改变，我就勇于接受。

我不得不承认我不是好人。
我也有坏脾气。
我也会骂人。
我也很固执。

但是，再固执的我，还是需要朋友，还是需要把耳根弄软。因为我不要失去朋友，更不要活在自己的世界里。

该说的，我都说了。

现在，
就得看你了。

人没有十全十美。但为了你，我愿做到完美。

心情好不好

2010-10-10T22:41:00.002+08:00

Just wanna to blog on this special day! It is triple tens! :D cool rite?

However, I am feeling kind of not happy. I dun know why~ just not happy loh.

每当心情不好，我总是想吃甜的食物。但是，无论怎么吃，心情还是不好。

好啦~

我喜欢他！可以吗？

但是，我不要他因此而被迫要喜欢我。这样的爱不真实，我不要。

我很胆小，所以不要再受另一次的打击。

我宁愿当一个旁观者。

bad mood

2010-10-09T20:04:00.002+08:00

I am gonna write super nasty stuff today. So, if you cannot believe that i will write nasty stuff, then just dont read it!

You are just the stupid girl that i know loh. I didn say it plainly cause i thought everyone knew it. Why everyone can says that their sisters went to university or jc and i cant? I didn even expect you to teach me homework. To think about it now, you didn even teach me any work at all! I kind of self figure it out~ WHAT! Then, what kind of sister are you? You dont want to find a full time job and idle at home. You just wanna to watch videos and tell me that it is not fair for you to do all the housechores. COME ON! Who in this family has this much of time? I dun expect you to do all the housechores but at least dun fight with me when i have A levels.

Do you know the stress that i am facing for A levels?
I dun think you understand loh! Which idiots will ask her sister to have a back-up plan? You just sent me a messange, telling me that i wont get into a university. OH PLEASE~ Who can be as stupid as you? Even if i didn get into a university, i will make sure that i get a decent job! I will not stay at home and just watch videos! You are like 23 years old and still didn get a proper job loh! Who says that younger sister will look up to older sister? You doesnt derserve the respect that you should receive. Trust me, why am i calling you sister is just because you are older than me. The stuff you did doesnt affect me at all. Treating you as an idiot, is just what i like to do. Looking at you and listening to your naive comments, i will just laugh off loh~

I dun want to waste my time hating you. Can you do some constructive stuff? WHAT? By saying that you worked whole day and wanna a rest at home? OH PLEASE~ You are not earning thousand per month loh!!!! OH MY~ YOU THINK WHAT SIA~

A LEVELS IS COMING~ I am gonna work hard and get good grades! Then, go overseas and study! Then, i will not need to see her stupid face!

最特别的你

2010-09-24T10:18:00.002+08:00

你走了，
连再见也不说就走了。

为什么？
你不要等到我回来再走？
无情的你，就这样走了。

我为你哭了。
我为你祈祷了。
再多的事，我都做了，
也挽回你的再见。

生命很惨酷，
当我正想跟你玩时，
他就带走你。

我记得我们曾快乐的日子，
我记得我们曾玩乐的时候。

你是朋友，
你也是我的过客，
你也曾是我的人生。

如今，你选择离开。
我不会怪你。
我不会留你。

我只要你开心，幸福就可以了。
我已经很知足。

祝你幸福快乐。
谢谢你曾给我的欢乐！：D
HAMMY! I LOVE YOU :D

Who do you think you are?

2010-09-08T11:52:00.002+08:00

Guess what? I am still a human with feelings. I will feel hurt and sad. You can laugh all you want and do whatever you like. However, you got to admit that I still got other friends! Friends that care about me and even console me when I am sad! It is better than depending you. Using what I am or have to be your source of joy. It is just not worth it. If you bother about it, please just take a moment to think. A moment will do, what did you do? I got to admit that I am not perfect. However, I take the least by caring how you feel. If you really think that it is not enough, I got nothing to say. A friend care and concern, not a friend who take pleasure at every single weakness I have. I am not perfect, are you? Think about it.

pity? hate? dislike?

2010-08-07T19:13:00.002+08:00

Why bother?

I have been asking myself this question a lot of times.

If she decides to live her life this way, let her be. Consequences? She will have to suffer it. There is nothing i can do or help.

It is irritating to know that you like to vent your anger at someone else. The innocent party have to suffer everything that you went through. FOR WHAT? Therefore, i always prefer to suffer everything by myself. This is also not the ultimate solution. The problems will be like a snow ball rolling around and become a big one. This is the sad part of life. This is the truth. No one wants to be the innocent party, no one wants to get the big snow ball.

I believe there is a way to get rid of the snow ball and not to become the innocent party. I do not how but i know when.

When we die,
people will then appreciate you.
people will realise the importance of your existence.
people will regret for doing nasty things to you.
people will praise you.
people will talk about you.
people will miss you.
people will feel lost.
people will know that you are unreplaceable .
people will love you .

This is sad but true. I knew that i am gonna die one day. However, knowing that only after i die, people will do these to you, i want to die early. But, will they even miss you? Probably or not even no.

I am not worth for them to miss?

Then, why am i still living?

To become someone that they will miss when i pass away.

I really miss my dad.

This really proves that he did a lot of stuff to make me miss him. I hate this fact but it just cannot be ignore. I hate to see people holding their father's hand. Why can't I? I got a lot of chances to do that before but i didn't. I got a lot of chances to do a lot of stuff but i didn't. Now, i can only be a cry baby and regret all the chances that i am given.

I was told to learn from the lesson. I should learn to treasure every monment that i have with my family and friends. On the second thought, i rather don't treasure the monment.

Why?

You are so close to the person but you can't be sure that you can love the person forever. I choose not to love, at least when the person is gone, you don't have to cry every night. I don't want to have really close friends. I am afraid to lose them. The feeling of losing loves one is horrible. It is so horrible that you wish you are the person who is dead than her.

I still remember that fateful night, how i make fun of him and force to do what i like. He is smiling and my mum is laughing. I forced him to bathe and go airport with me. He forced me to say that he is handsome. If second chance is given, i will not call him handsome. I will tell him to stay alive and wait for my children to call him handsome grandpa. The truth is there is no second chance and he is really gone.

People wonders why am i so strong and able to control my feeling?

I am not.

I want to cry all the times. I want to call him and tell him all the stupid test that my teacher gave it to me. I want to complain to him. I want to..

There is so many wants but i can't.

Nothing can stop my love for him. Nothing will bring me away.

Unless i die and meet him again.

第三回

2010-07-03T13:22:00.000+08:00

为了爱，

我听她的话。

为了爱，

我骗了她。

第三回

我不知道我所做的一切是否是对的。
她要我这么做，我就会去这么做。

诺爱一个人会失去理性，那我真的疯了。
我爱她，所以会不顾一切地去满足她的要求，甚至是伤害别人。

我不知道是她变了，

还是，

我爱疯了。

刚认识她时，她是一个开朗的女生。
我喜欢上她爽朗的个性，更爱上她的笑容。
一直以来，我都相信她所说的话。这可能就是爱吧！

自从她提出这个计划后，她开始变了，她变成了我不认识的她。
迷人的笑容，善良的个性，全都消失。
瞬间，我所认识的她好像走了。

是我多疑了吗？

但是，

我愿意听她的话，

因为我真的很爱她。

第二回

2010-06-14T21:43:00.001+08:00

他爱她，

所以他守护着她。

我可怜他，

所以我陪着他。

第二回

一加一是二

诺爱情也可以照这个理论，
世界会不会少了失恋，多了幸福？
两个相爱的人就在一起。
没有移情别恋，
没有第三者，
也没有所谓的分手。

但是，事实是你爱的人，不一定会爱上你。
他爱的人也不会是你。爱情并没有一加一是二的道理。

就像他们一样，他以为他是她的惟一。
但是在结婚前，她才发现自己并不爱他。

所以，她悔婚了。

他应该觉得庆幸，
至少他在结婚前知道真相。

她也应该觉得开心，
因为她没有嫁给她不爱的男人。

命运就是这么愚弄人，

当你以为幸福来了，

它却悄悄地走了。

我理解他的感受，所以我愿意陪他，听他的心事。
或许，我也曾希望自己寂寞时，有一个可以诉说的对象。

<错爱>

2010-05-18T22:11:00.001+08:00

两个素不相识的陌生人，

因为一则简讯，

而开始了不凡的人生旅程。

他是她要找的好情人？

还是，

她是他要的好朋友？

第一回

真是一个莫名其妙的下午，无端端就和一个陌生人聊了起来。说也奇怪，我们俩虽不认识，但是性格却一拍即响。起初，我还以为他是我的好朋友，故意来恶整我。所以，我就配合他。但后来，我发现他真的对我一无所知时，才相信他不认识我。这可能就是所谓的缘份吧！他刚好失恋，而我又有空当他的听众。

说也奇怪，他为了找人诉苦，就乱按了八号码。就这样，一切就从那则简讯而开始。

"为什么要离开我？你已偷走我的心。为什么不要负责任呢？"

这个人是不是有毛病？我又不是小偷，而且心脏有这么容易就能拿出来吗？看在本姑娘有时间的份上，就指点你一下吧！

"哈哈，我不是小偷。所以不能负责任。诺你不满你的心被偷，就报警。我相信警察会尽力帮你的"

"警察？爱情也有警察的话，就希望他们能把所有的爱情骗子给抓起来。"

"爱情怎么可能会有骗子？你是心甘情愿地爱他，你就不应该强求他会爱回你。所以，没有骗不骗，只有真爱还是假爱。"

"我真的爱她，为她付出了这么多。最终得到是一场空。"

"爱情本来就没有回报。你把爱情当投资？"

这个人真的太自私吧！只为自己着想，却没有为对方着想。虽然本姑娘没有谈过恋爱，都知道爱是不平等的。幸好，平时听朋友的爱情故事听惯了，所以不怎么特别可怜这个人。

"那她当初就不答应我的求婚，我就不必这么伤心了。"

其实，他也蛮可怜的。爱一个人能爱得那么深。真希望自己是那个女人。

"或许，她有什么苦衷，所以不能和你结婚。你就不要太伤心了。你这么痴情，一定会找到更好的。"

"我不要找到更好的。我想当她的守护天使。只要她开心，我就开心了。"

我默默地祝福他。希望他真的替她找到她要的幸福。

Dilemma

2010-05-17T23:22:00.002+08:00

Currently, I am in a dilemma. "~"

I seriously dun know whether i should tell them or not? Maybe i should wait until the thing becomes official then i tell.

I am just really sad that such stuff happens to me. Finally, when i became passionate about stuff, there will always be another stuff hindering me. :(

I told someone already, but she seems OK with it. I knew that it doesn't concern her, but i hope she will at least console me or tell me what to do. Haiz.. but she did not. So i am kind of still sad then. :((

Maybe i should just tell them la~
Anyway it doesn't really make much differences whether i am there or not. They can always find a replacement soon. It is kind of easy to replace me, so i guess they will not be sad about it.

HAIZ..
I think i will just wait and see what will happens.
All well goes well.
Trust in God and He will give me the best choice.

God, please let me get what i want :D

AMEN!

希望？

2010-05-14T23:50:00.002+08:00

最近，有很多不好的事情频频发生在我的亲人，朋友身上。

我觉得，
人到了某个年龄，
希望将为失望。

所期待的，不会发生。
所不要的，就必定发生。

这就是人生吗？

我觉得人到了六十，七十岁时，离别是件普通的事。
但对于一个十几岁的人来说，离别是件伤痛的事。

我相信世界上有所谓的习惯。
因为经过几次的离别，我觉得我已经习惯了。

第一次：不解（不了解为何他要走）
第二次：伤痛（不舍得他走，不要他走！)
第三次：麻木（开始习惯离别的悲哀）

诺再发生多几次，我想我不会再哭。
哭红了双眼，耗费了所有的精力，也是挽回不他的存在。
我选择不哭，不是因为无情，而是我要他看到我坚强的一面。
这样一来，他才会安心地走，我也能继续我的生活。

妈妈！哥哥！姐姐！妹妹！朋友！
诺有一天我走了，不要哭。
你们要笑着送我走最后一个在人间的时间，
多说些我曾做过的傻事，
多来看我最后一眼，
这样一来，
我知道我无须为你们担心。
我知道你们会过得很好。

谢谢！ :D

i am tired.

2010-05-09T22:12:00.002+08:00

What should i do?
You are really making sick and tired.
I am sick of your lies. I am tired of your stories.

I told myself that i should believe in you. I DID.
What did i receive?
Disappoinment and Stress.
I dun know what to do.
Please teach me.

Have you changed or i changed?
Or even if this is the right question to ask?
I am crying because of you.

You are really making me feel sad.
I dun know who to trust anymore. You or them?
I dun even know who to tell all my stuff.
I dun know.
Please.
Is it possible to tell me the truth?
THE REALLY TRUTH.
Please.

I dun want to lose anything.
I dun wan.

My heart is breaking. Someone please piece it back for me.

should I continue to trust you?

2010-05-02T14:07:00.003+08:00

this season is seriously sucks to the team! We can really win loh! It is just that luck is not on our side. For the next match, I will really kiss the court! Haha~

Anyway, this is not the main point for me to blog. I was told by someone that a real friend will tell each other what they feel about each other. However, it is really difficult to do so.

I just know that I am tired of all Stories . I cannot stand it when she wants to tell how pitiful is her...

We MUZ win~

2010-04-18T23:52:00.003+08:00

A division is coming soooooooooooooon~ LOL! Sounds like a movie!

I really hope to be in TOP FOUR. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE IN!

As much as i want, floorball is a team sport. Everyone in the team must have the same desire then we will have a common goal. Haiz..

I know all of you are scared. ME TOO~ However, we must believe in ourself. We must believe that we are actually as strong as the other teams. We can really win if we want it badly! So, let's JIA YOU! Treat every match like the last match that we gonna play, and play it with all our might!

ATTACKERS!

Just try your best and shot whenever you got a chance! Look at the merahans, they just shoot shoot shoot. They dun even care that we are there! I bet with one thousands chances, at least we will get 5 goals per match loh!

DEFENDERS!

Just hug the shooter la~ LOL! Chase all the balls with all your might and dun let the opponents get the chance to shoot. Clear the ball out of our court and even try to score too!! All our defenders can shoot! As long we try to shoot when we get the ball to the opponent's court, we earn ourself a chance! YEAH!

GOALIES!

Just block all the balls! If the defenders nv come back and help you, shout for them!!! We will all run back to help you and will not let you face the opponent alone!!! YEAH! JIA YOU!! :))

Come on, GIRLS~ Do what you like and do what you can do BEST!

We can and we ARE stronger, better than other teams.

Work together as team and we WILL write a NEW page for NYFB's history!!

OK~

2010-02-18T13:45:00.000+08:00

HAHA~

I guess i am just being low low low~ for that few days!

SORRY~

Thanks darling~ Sorry that i made you worried for nothing.

I think there are just too many things that are on my mind.

Anyway,

block test result is back. Consultation and mugging session need to be on the right track. J1s are coming to floorball. With A division coming, i am going gaga soooon~

I just hope that i can handle all the stress and everything!

:)

why am i so sensitive?

2010-02-10T21:31:00.000+08:00

Am i being over reactive?
Am i just too emotional?
OR i am just being irritating?

I really dun like it when you all call me names.
I really dun like it when you all comment on my stuff.
I really dun like it when no one listens to me.
I really dun like it when you all just walk away and leave me alone.

I know i am being demanding.
I am a spoiled child.
So?
Does that give you all the rights to comment or talk about me?

I really tried my best.
Taking your words as advice and try not to think of the negative side.

However, i CANNOT.

It just hurts my heart when i was left alone.
It just kills me when i know that i dun understand what are you all talking about.
It just irritates me when you all just call me names.

Maybe,
you all can take it.

But,
i can't.

I got a weak heart ever since that inccident happens.
I really dun like it!

You all are my best best friends. That why, I listened to all your words.
However,

all i need is just SUPPORT.

I got my life. I made my own decision. I am ok with you telling me your advice but PLEASE support me too.

I dun want to feel that i am like alone.

Feeling ridiculous?

I also think so.

Why do i still love you all when i dun like you all so much?
NAH..

That is why i love to keep things to myself.
So much to share but no one to listen.

HAIZ.

I am a weirdo.

Just accept it.

Feel like screaming into someone's face and slap it!
BUT I CANT~

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-25T13:19:00.000+08:00

YEAH! This is my 282 post!!! HAHA! I am just being random~

HAHA! What should i post today? I really have no idea. LOL.. I wanted to post this post because of CLARON! haha~

Since it is christmas, i shall just wish everyone MERRY CHRISTMAS~

Had a very special christmas eve yesterday,
darling and i were at the airport.

We spent the whole night doing homework ( practically not the WHOLE night la.. cuz we spent around two hours gossipping. )

YA.. That is my christmas eve.

Two lonely girls
One good friendship
With tons of homework..

OUR CHRISTMAS EVE TIL CHRISTMAS~

LOL..

Anyway, let's make this post more touching instead of me telling everyone what i did for christmas eve~

THANKSGIVING TIME!!

To: God

Thanks for accompanying me though my thick and thin. I really want to thank You for letting me knowing you. It is You who changed my life and makes me feel happy everyday. I know that i can always count on You no matter what happens. This year has been tough but i know with you around, nothing is impossible.

THANKS!

To: Dad

I really miss you! Though i kept pretending to be strong but there are still times that i will break down and cry. This really shows how much i need you to be in my life. WAIT. My dad don't read english. 爸爸，我好想您！生活真的不能没有您！不过，我知道您天天都在我身边，用着您的爱在看着我，在保护着我。我要学会坚强，学会不哭，学着在寂寞的夜里想你，在平日也想你。

谢谢！

To: Family ( Mummy, Big sis, bro, shufang sis, ri sis, bao)

Thanks for being there for me. JC year 1 has been tough but with you all, i 拼了. Thanks for giveing me support when i need it. Thanks for waiting for me when my training ends late. Thanks for giving me adivce when i need it. Thanks for driving me around when i need a ride. Thanks for cooking my favourite food. Thanks for understanding me and giving me space when i truly need it. Thanks for toleranting my temper and gong zhu bing!

THANKS WITH MY KISSES!

To: Spiritual Family ( Miss Seah, hui hui, ai kit, cheryl, amanda, phyllis)

This year is totally different from last year. All of us are in different schools and it is really difficult to meet each other. I really thanks God that He let us have fellowship time. I want to thank all of you! It is great to know you all as you all are support that God has given to me. I know that i can always sms you all or call you all when i need support or help. :)

THANKS!

To: Li ying

Though we didnt meet to celebrate our birthday this year, i promise that we will meet next year k? Thanks for being there for me. I know i can call you anytime i like. I know you will always lend me a listening year. STOP eating too much k? I dun want to eat a 50 plus kg of liying next year. HAHA!

MUACK!

To: Clique IV ( Christy, blossy, wanlin, emily, isobel)

We are in different schools but we still make that effort to meet each other and celebrate each other birthday! I thank you all for that effort. Thanks for meeting up with me and update me about you! I thank you all for the extra gossip and "knowledge"! HAHA! It is because of you all, that causes me to miss my secondary school years. It is because of you all, that causes me to think that FRIENDS are still better than anything. ( i really mean anything :))

MUACK! MUACK!

To: Clique 4 ( Darling, Honey, Yaya)

It is really great to know you all. I love to study with you all and gossip together. I enjoyed all the outings and thanks for giving me my birthday presents when i DEMAND for it. HAHA! I know i am evil la~ Thanks for understanding my gong zhu ping and let me have what i want. I know i am very weird everyday but thanks for cracking those jokes to make my day. :) Let's JIA YOU for nx year and make nx year a GREAT year.

MUACK! MUACK! MUACK!

To: FLOORBALL girls team ( laura, shanmei, queenie, syakirah,kin ing, wanlin, alison, serene, ying ying, kai ying, corliss, man san, jing pei, hui ling, zi ning, hui syen, yvonne, si li, clarissa, shu ting)

YEAH! We are a great team! This is my first time being in a team sport. I really thank you all for training time WOW to me. Though i may complain a lot, but with all you all training with me, i guess there is nothing i can complain liao :) HAHA! I am really blur on court and even off court. So, thanks for understanding that side of me. I love all your weird jokes and outing or even purely dinner. Thanks for giving me advices on you know what and supporting me :) Thanks for winning that championship! I am proud to be in such a wonderful team. Let's strive on and become the BEST team in A division. :))

MUACK X4!!!!

To: 0935 (darling, honey, yaya, sam, gracious, van, abi, jer, joel, jia mu,qi wei, mabel, tricia, nana, ger,mei zhen, jun ling, siming, bk, jerrold, fu hua, alice)

GREAT CLASS! Thanks for studying with me! Thanks for taking care of me! I love to attend lectures and going out with you all. A group of weird ppl! I love it! Though we had different combinations of subjects but we made a great class! We really prove lots of ppl wrong. It will be better next year! We will be the top ten class! YEAH!

MUACK X5 !!!!!

To: LTC group LUPIN! (renkai, yi da, christy, shuang yu, hui ming, adrian, joel, zuo yi, chee how, jonnas)

It is only FOUR days but i feel like i know you all for years! Thanks for supporting during the camp. Thanks for taking care of me during the camp. I know i always looked so low but i am actually quite high ( Somehow la~) I am so sad that i cant go for the outing but i hope that there is another outing k?

MUACK X6!!!!!!

To: LEP taiwan trip PPL! ( You know what? there are 30 plus ppl.. It will really kill me to write all the names.)

Anyway, I am happy to know all of you. This is the first time i enjoyed a school trip. I love taiwan but i love it because of all of you. It is you all who made this trip wonderful and memorable. I miss the trip but i also miss you all. Five different schools, one country and only 15 days. FOREVER experience.

MUACK X7!!!!!!!

YEAH! Finally, i am done! Thanks X100000000000000000000000000times!

風箏與風

2009-11-06T22:38:00.000+08:00

歌名: 風箏與風

演唱: Twins
附註: 松日廣告主題曲
作曲: 伍樂城, 編曲: 伍樂城
監製: , 填詞: 林夕

沒有燈　背影怎可上路
如沒雲　天空都不覺高
我與他　若似天生一對多麼好
單手怎可以抱　我怕在平地跌倒

＊誰伴我　冒險跳下愛河
　誰都要一對　即使手挽手出了錯
　想多姿多彩怎會一個
　又哪可一個＊

＃當風箏遇上風　即使快樂的痛
　能能乘著狂風　天空中愛得英勇
　有了他就算哭　仍然流露著笑容
　當風箏沒有風　一顆心也都很重
　誰能來做微風　不必管我的輕重
　冥冥中遇上他　擦過愛的天空
　倦極也不痛＃

有痛苦　都只因擁有吧
會枯萎　都只因收過花
有個他　未算天生一對都不差
逼真的相愛過　那眼淚還未算假

REPEAT＊＃

如何地痛　仍然學會英勇
哭過　更寬容　他願意抱擁
不用計較輕重　有誰　這樣勇

REPEAT＃

不管　吹得多痛　狂風裡　也活得英勇
若能遇上所愛　我會不分輕重
不怕　沿路跌碰
誰怕痛　有他支撐跌不痛
有風箏　便有風

这是一个怎样的世界？

2009-11-05T00:20:00.000+08:00

一开始，我无力地过着每一天。

最后，我终于病了。

然后，我也倒下来了。

我不知道有没有人发现。

我不知道有没有人知道。

我不知道有没有人理会。

我累了。

你是空氣但是好聞勝過了空氣

你是陽光但是也能照進半夜裡

水能載舟也能煮粥餵飽了生命

如果世界就是这样简单的话，那就好了。

但是事实并不是如此。

看起来幸福的人，不一定是开心的。

看起来不满足的人，不一定是难过的。

或许，我们都活在一个虚拟的世界。

大家都喜欢戴着善良的面具。

大家都爱上假装这一套服装。

武装着自己，过着每一的生活。

在武装的背后，是否住着一个真正的自己？

谁也不知道。

我真的累了。

我不想再去揭穿另一个面具。

难道诚实地过着每一天也是一种罪？

伪装，隐藏，躲避，

有没有人真的能靠这些而活一辈子？

haiz..

2009-10-29T20:22:00.000+08:00

Didn update my blog for a very loooooooooooooooong time. So, i decided to update it today even though i am suppose to memorise my script.

By the way, qing shu is written by me and unknown is written by wanlin's friend. Hope you all like our poems! Though i still think mine not good enough, i will try harder then.

Super busy with PW. Other than PW, school is like nothing else to look forward to. Haiz.. You will know what i mean.

I decided to be truthful to myself. OK! You all are right. I still like him. So what? What else can i do? Stone, wait and confess? I want to do none of them. I will rather .... I also dun know. Haiz.. I am totally in confuse state now. There is nothing else i can do right?

I dun like to look at him from a distance.
I dun like to not to him.
I dun like to stare blankly at him.
I dun like to not care about him.
I dun like to ignore him.
I dun like to not talk about him.
I dun like to ...

LOL.. i think i am being too truthful liao. When people ask why i like him, i will just say i dun know. I really dun know why i like him. I only know i cant stop liking him. HAIZ..

Life is just so troublesome. There are things that u work hard for but you just cant get the result you want. I am a hardworking girl. I will try my best and grab hold of the things i believe in. However, things always turn up differently. I could not grab hold of everything. I only got two hands. When both hands are filled, i just couldnt hold any more things.

Maybe, this is just part of God's plan. He wants me to wait. I will wait then. For i know, God always has a better plan for me.

AND

I will WAIT..

AHH!! STRESS!!!

2009-10-22T19:37:00.000+08:00

STRESS!
STRESS!
STRESS!

this is totally stressful week!

not because of PW!

but because of something else!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

PROMO RESULT SOOOOONNN!

PROMOTE?

OR RETAIN?

AHHHHH!!

love poems!!

2009-10-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

1。《情书》

我将心放进信封里，
用了我的情封起来，
把思念化成张邮票，
开心送到爱情邮筒。

真希望邮差不会忙，
这样的话，
我的爱，
今天就会送到你的面前。

2。《unknown》

夜深人静无身影，
翻来覆去仍清醒，
心中一直在想你，
思念随我上屋顶，
情不自禁哼首歌，
情曲里，
惟有你到底在哪里，
何时能藏在我心里？

WHICH ONE IS BETTER?
PLS VOTE FOR UR FAVOURITE POEM!
SIMPLY LEAVE A TAG AT THE TAGBOARD INDICATING UR CHOICE!
COMMENT IF U WANT!
THE AUTHORS WILL BE REVEAL AFTER PROMO!

XD
XD
XD
XD
XD

VOTE!

用一秒钟爱上一个人，然后再付出一生去忘记，水瓶座就是这样的试验品。

2009-10-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

用一秒钟爱上一个人，然后再付出一生去忘记，水瓶座就是这样的试验品。

12星座男生最容易上谁的当？

2009-09-14T01:50:00.000+08:00

白羊座男生最容易上 - 处女座女生的当

处女座的人讲话很诚恳，她讲话的热心态度是一般人装不来的，常识很丰富，平常也很热心帮助人家，常常会给牡羊座很多建议，牡羊座就会很容易相信处女女。

金牛座男生最容易上 - 水瓶座女生的当

水瓶座的女生可以把金牛座的男生玩弄在股掌之间，水瓶座的魅力就在于冷和热之间的落差，可以感受到她的热情，可是外表又看起来冷冰冰，而且又有一点阴阳怪气，太正派的人引不起金牛座的注意，而且他一下子就可以分辨出真假，这时怪怪的水瓶女就引起金牛男的兴趣了。

双子座男生最容易上 - 天秤座女生的当

天秤座是一个很会安慰人，很友善的星座，双子座有时候很阳光，有时候很阴暗，而天秤座很容易接触到双子座的阴暗面，所以天秤座很容易就了解双子座的全貌，再来就是要看天秤女要不要害双子男而已。

巨蟹座男生最容易上 - 狮子座女生的当

狮子座的女生只要遇到巨蟹座的男生就是忍不住想欺负，说不出为什么。

狮子座男生最容易上 - 牡羊座女生的当

牡羊座的女生会把事情分析的很清楚，而且很会用煽动的语言去激狮子座的男生，表现出来的魄力甚至感觉比狮子男还强势，于是输人不输阵的狮子男很容易就被牡羊女的激将法得逞了。
处女座男生最容易上 - 双鱼座女生的当

双鱼座的女生聪明，处女座的男生在感情上反而比较笨拙，当处女男要讨对女生欢心时，整个人就像笨蛋一样，对方说什么他都相信，而双鱼女遇到像白痴处女男会觉得不骗很可惜。

天秤座男生最容易上 - 天蝎座女生的当

天蝎座的女生情绪表现说话的语气都是很重口味的，她一步一步的引导表现会让天秤男信以为真，甚至让他以为天蝎女对自己已经五体投地，到最后发现不是如此时就会分外受伤。

天蝎座男生最容易上 - 双子座女生的当

双子座的女生可以让天蝎座的男生目不暇给、花样百出，而乖的女生天蝎男会觉得没意思，像双子座这么难捉摸的女生才会让天蝎男觉得有挑战性，因为他很有自信，可是结果一定是战败在双子女的手下。

射手座男生最容易上 - 魔羯座女生的当

射手座其实是非常小心，精明的不得了，魔羯座的女生属于临危不乱型，而且当她要欺骗对方时，一定是做好万全的准备，而且很清楚自己的程度如何，于是是射手男常常在魔羯座看似很真诚的付出之下松懈了心防。

魔羯座男生最容易上 - 金牛座女生的当

魔羯座是不想吃亏型，而金牛座更胜魔羯座一筹，金牛座公事公办，所有证据一定会留下，务实的金牛座不会随便丢任何东西，于是魔羯男的亏就吃定了。

水瓶座男生最容易上 - 巨蟹座女生的当

巨蟹座的女生一开始的很像苦情花，可是跟水瓶男在一起之后一定会占上风，因为水瓶男一旦跟对方认真之后，只要对方跟他要，他一定都会想办法给，可是巨蟹女即使要到了想要的东西，可是只要遇到了更好的对象，她说走就走，头也不会回。

双鱼座男生最容易上 - 金牛座女生的当

金牛座的女生很务实，而双鱼男会散发只要对方开口他就会给的讯息，这时金牛座就会很想要从他身上得到很多好处，而双鱼男这时只有挨打的份。

Snow - Red Hot Chili Peppers

2009-09-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

Snow - Red Hot Chili Peppers - Lyrics

Come to decide that the things that I tried
Were in my life just to get high on
When I sit alone come get a little known
But I need more than myself this time
Step from the road to the sea to the sky
And I do believe it, we rely on
When I lay it on come get to play it on
All my life to sacrafice
Hey oh listen what I say oh, I got your
Hey oh now listen what I say oh
When will I know that I really can't go
To the well once more time to decide on
When it's killing me, when will I really see
All that I need to look inside
Come to believe that I better not leave
Before I get my chance to ride
When it's killing me, what do I really need
All that I need to look inside
Hey oh listen what I say oh, come back and
Hey oh look at what I say oh
The more I see the less I know
The more I like to let it go...hey oh, whoa
Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it's so white as snow
Privately divided by a world so undecided
And there's nowhere to go
In between the cover of another perfect wonder
And it's so white as snow
Running through a field where all my tracks will
Be concealed and there is nowhere to go
When to descend to amend for a friend
All the channels that have broken down
Now you bring it up, I'm gonna ring it up
Just to hear you sing it out
Step from the road to the sea to the sky
And I do believe what we rely on
When I lay it on, come get to play it on
All my life to sacrifice
Hey oh listen what I say oh, I got your
Hey oh listen what I say oh
The more I see the less I know
The more I'd like to let it go...hey oh whoa
Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it's so white as snow
Privately divided by a world so undecided
And there's nowhere to go
In between the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it's so white as snow
Running through the field where all my tracks
Will be concealed and there is nowhere to go
I said hey hey yeah, oh yeah tell my love now
Hey hey yeah, oh yeah tell my love now
Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it's so white as snow
Privately divided by a world so undecided
And there's nowhere to go
In between the cover of another perfect wonder
Where it's so white as snow
Running through the field where all my tracks
Will be concealed and there is nowhere to go
I said hey hey yeah, oh yeah tell my love now
Hey hey yeah,

Happy shalalala

2009-09-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

OMG!

IT's 09/09/09!!!!

HAHA!

I AM SO HAPPY!

SOOOO HAPPY!

HAHAHA!

It is a meaningful mugging session!

HAHA!

XD

LOL

人

2009-09-01T22:03:00.000+08:00

人，又少了一个。。。

life

2009-08-23T23:50:00.000+08:00

this is a weird life.

this is a really weird life.

somehow you will gain something and lose something at the same time

why cant i have it both at the same time?

i know i am a greedy girl.

but what is wrong to have all my friends

i cant call all my friends everyday

i cant sms them and ask how are they do

i pray for them

i dun wan to lose them

but life is just like tt

i gain new friendship and lost the old one

is old not strong enough

or is it the new one needs too much effort to handle?

i can no longer control what is going in my life. though i knew i can mug now.

i will mug then.

i dun wan to care abt other stuff anymore.

i dun care.

i dun wan.

so pls dun disturb me!

成长了

2009-08-09T12:43:00.000+08:00

成长了，

是一回事，

多了一点好事，

也多了一点坏事。

究竟发生了什么事，

才导致我们之间这么多事？

我们又是什么时候出了这种事，

还是因为一开始没有处理好而出事？

我们到底还有没有地救？这件事也就只有他能知道。

Dear God,

I pray for your presence to be with me, my family and friends.
Lord, i pray for your presence to be with them and calm them down that may they make the right decision in life.
I also want to pray for your protection for them, Lord that whatever they do, they will be protected by you.
I cannot always be with them.
But i know, Lord is always with them.
I just want everyone around me to be happy and enjoy their life.
I know you have a plan for everyone and i hope that all these things that are happening are part of your plan too! Please Lord, i do want to see them suffer, i really want them to be them.
I do not wish to see them making the wrong choice.
Lord, please please Help them!
This is my cry to you, Lord.
This is my prayer from me to them, Lord.
Lord, help them and me!
If anything i can do to help them, please Lord, let me know and i will be part of your great plan.

Thank you, Lord!

Amen.

水瓶座除了需要一个深爱自己包容一切的人以外，还需要一个心理医生。

2009-08-02T21:57:00.000+08:00

水瓶

几乎每个水瓶座的心底都有着一段刻骨铭心人间记忆，一个永远无法忘记的背影。
那也许只是极其短暂的两情相悦，只是一种单恋，或只是一种只存在于虚幻空间。
一切看起来是那么平静，那么和谐。

没有惊天动地，没有海誓山盟，没有花前月下，没有浪漫，没有誓言，没有温度。水瓶座的理智和冷漠，注定了任何感情永无燃点。

水瓶座不容易喜欢上一个人。有人说水瓶座对伴侣的要求太高，其实并非这样，水瓶座注重的是感觉。只是那么轻描淡写的一眼，那个人已经吸引了水瓶的所有注意力，从此目光便无法转移。
用一秒钟爱上一个人，然后再付出一生去忘记，水瓶座就是这样的试验品。
但几乎所有的水瓶都会否认在自己的身上发生一见钟情，因为一向自视清高，承认爱上一个人这钟事似乎是在侮辱自己的智商。

更多的时候是因为，连自己都没发现已经爱上。水瓶座很多时候对于感情反应非常迟钝，迟钝到每次都是最后的知情者。有时容易出现弄不清自己的感觉，不清楚自己想做什么，觉得迷惘。

在对方没有非常明确地表示感情时会退怯，觉得爱情是两厢情愿，不想勉强对方。
显得很被动，忽冷忽热，犹豫不决，极其矛盾。在没有完全确定前，决不轻易付出感情，因为怕失去。也许是缺乏安全感，也许是对自己的保护，也可以算作是一种自私。
一般水瓶座的好朋友都是经过很长世间的考察的，不仅仅是几年，而是十几年。一旦被水瓶座当作好朋友的，会赴汤蹈火掏心掏肺。
在公车上，街边，商场，水瓶老是认错人。在茫茫人海中，始终在寻找一个熟悉的身影，直到产生幻觉。

这一刻，水瓶座突然很想痛哭流涕，因为突然发现自己几近疯狂的爱上一个人，失去了理智，失去了自我。这种突如其来的感觉，很恐惧，很无助。
水瓶座不喜欢这种感觉，因为不知该如何面对。要让水瓶座主动去追逐，是件异常困难的事，在水瓶座的世界里无法承受拒绝，就是这么脆弱，无论表面上看来是多么的坚强。
水瓶座在人前总是一幅无忧无虑没心没肝的样子，不想别人看见自己的悲伤，那样会有不安全的感觉，总是在无人的地方暗自落泪。

算了，还是放在心里吧。既不用尴尬的表白然后遭到拒绝，又不会相爱容易相处难的惨烈分手。这样很好，没人看出来，不至于太没面子。可以继续貌似潇洒。
但是，不同了。尽管水瓶座装着多么不在乎，看都不看一眼。可是对方说的每句话都从耳朵进去，没见出来。对方提的任何过分的要求，水瓶座统统照单全收精心尽力，决对不会有半个不字。完全成为一个爱情的奴隶，脸上还装酷无表情，整个死要面子活受罪。

这种情况下，如果对方使点阴谋诡计，刻意疏远避而不见或是视而不见，电话不接或是哼哈敷衍等等，水瓶会给整疯了，开始会想是什么自己地方做错了，说错话了，然后拉下面子主动讨好试探。不用多，碰壁两次，水瓶座就会有自知之明了，不会再去想是为什么会这样，也不想知道了。心里会想，原来是对方讨厌自己，不想见到自己。明白之后，就是绝对的安静了。
这还没完，过了一段日子。对方如果突然又改变态度，水瓶座竟然能既往不咎问也不问，殷勤依旧，完全没有尊严可谈。只要能和对方开心的在一起，过去不重要，未来也不重要，面子不重要，金钱不重要，时间不重要，自己也不重要。
天平失衡，感情重重的压在心底，自己却飘在了半空。太在乎对方，迷失了自我，幸福也变得虚无。

自己都不爱，谁还会珍惜。
水瓶座一旦付出，便是彻底，不可收回。
感情投入的越多越是伤的重。
最擅长的是难为自己。不想对方难过，只好让自己难过。总是认为自己有超乎寻常的承受力，把自己想得太坚强，而把别人想得太脆弱。不知道，受伤的其实是自己，只是不知道如何表现出来。
爱，这个字对水瓶座来说，太沉重珍贵了，无法用语言诠释。一旦说出口，犹如远古的文物，被发掘出土暴露于空气中，变得面目全非，失去本来的价值。
所以，不轻易说。

只需一次，水瓶座便把一生的精力耗尽，只因执著，便落得伤痕累累。那段感情如强酸腐蚀着那颗麻木的心，穿了一个洞，再也无法弥补。时间是世界上最有力的矬子，把空洞的毛边渐渐抚平，不再搁人。每当寒风吹过，犹闻隐约凄凉的萧萧声，似挽歌。
只需一次，水瓶座便不再幻想，于是狠狠将自己摔碎，拒绝熔化拼凑。因为怕熔了记忆，怕熔了那个远远的背影，怕熔了自己千年的期盼。
之后，水瓶座依然谈笑风生，依然开朗豁达，继续着一段接一段的新感情，重复着一切，因为无法承受寂寞。

人们都说水瓶花心，见一个爱一个，水瓶座会哈哈一笑，说“哪有？冤啊！”。其实心里在滴着血，脸上却得笑的灿烂，安慰自己“我是谁啊！哪会那么弱呢！”
有人说水瓶座太冷酷太自私，自以为了不起。可是谁又了解，水瓶座的心，容量很小，只能有一个，且不具修改性。除了那个人，其他所有自动归为一种程序。

因为无法虚伪，所以甜言蜜语都吝啬给予。因为天真，所以至死之前仍在等待。因为没有勇气，所以眼睁睁放手真爱无能为力。
当看到一个瓶子在疯狂地快乐或悲伤时，请千万不要被迷惑，水瓶总是不由自主地交错操纵着快乐与悲伤。其实并不像看到的那么快乐，同样的，也不像看到的那么悲伤。只是悲伤时，喜欢带上快乐的面具，而当水瓶快乐时，悲伤又不肯轻易放过。
只有真正懂得水瓶座的人，才能看见眼底那一缕似有似无的哀伤，才能明白是什么让水瓶如此的义无反顾，是什么让水瓶变得如此忽冷忽热捉摸不定，才能体会水瓶的坚强只是竭力掩饰的脆弱。

星相上说，水瓶座往往不被所爱的人珍惜。我想，是为什么呢？也许答案就在心中，只是水瓶座的本性不愿承认而已。
水瓶座除了需要一个深爱自己包容一切的人以外，还需要一个心理医生。

那一年

2009-08-01T23:40:00.000+08:00

那一年，他说他喜欢长头发的女生。
那一年，我留了长头发。
隔一年，我却剪了。

长头发似乎是一段新的开始，而短头发是一段的结束。
还是，
短头发是新的开始，而长头发是要结束的暗语。

自己现在就是那个羽毛。

我还在学习。。
慢慢懂了其实失恋是一种力量
因为孤独让人可以回想

王心凌—羽毛
(Music)
多么沮丧成人世界并不像童话
王子公主很少喜剧收场
不是只要够勇敢够善良
就会有仙女帮忙实现愿望
慢慢懂了其实失恋是一种力量
因为孤独让人可以回想
是在哪边该下车却没下
才到了一个不想到的地方
有时候爱是粉红的羽毛
谁捧着都有微笑的眼角
才看他在手心沉沉的睡着
一起风又醒了那么轻飘飘的走掉
我觉得我是雪白的羽毛
向往着超越自己的渺小
成为寂寞城堡关不了
能带给人幸福的青鸟
(Music)
慢慢懂了其实失恋是一种力量
因为孤独让人可以回想
是在哪边该下车却没下
才到了一个不想到的地方
有时候爱是粉红的羽毛
谁捧着都有微笑的眼角
才看他在手心沉沉的睡着
一起风又醒了那么轻飘飘的走掉
我觉得我是雪白的羽毛
向往着超越自己的渺小
成为寂寞城堡关不了
能带给人幸福的青鸟
(Music)
有时候爱是粉红的羽毛
谁捧着都有微笑的眼角
才看他在手心沉沉的睡着
一起风又醒了那么轻飘飘的走掉
我觉得我是雪白的羽毛
向往着超越自己的渺小
成为寂寞城堡关不了
能带给人幸福的青鸟
(Music)
END

矛盾与不矛盾之间

2009-07-29T00:05:00.000+08:00

我知道，我不可以说他是肥猪。
因为我自己也是。
但是，请不要忘记我的名言。
“就算我是肥猪，我也是世界上最美的肥猪。”

哈哈！

回到正题吧！

我在无聊时，看到这个有关星座的文章。

12星座男人最討厭哪種女人

04/20~05/20
金牛座關鍵字：虛榮勢利
金牛座的男人們是一群很溫文爾雅的人，他們從不輕易動怒，但他們同時也是一群很實際的人，會為自己的生活精打細算。在大多時候，女人們是很難引起他們的怒火，但有種情況比較特殊，當這個女人過於虛榮勢利，把錢看得重過一切的時候，金牛男士可就無法容忍，一旦脾氣發作，那場景非同小可，會令人毛骨悚然的。

糟了！

我是真的很虚荣势利的人！
所以，我应该放弃吧！
但是，我又看到了这个文章。

12星座女戀愛中易犯的危險心理

01/20~02/18
水瓶座水瓶座
「獨特、另類」已成為妳生活的主流，老喜歡「不同凡響」，於是潛移默化中，妳會以為談戀愛也可以追求獨特。不是把戀愛對像鎖定那些看似古怪、神秘、另類的男生，就是逼著男友不斷給妳製造愛情奇跡。前者妳會愛得很累，因為那些人不懂憐香惜玉，不懂得愛人；後者他會很累，妳的那些要求是在給他增加精神壓力！

“不是把戀愛對像鎖定那些看似古怪、神秘、另類的男生”

哈哈！的确，我喜欢的他是古怪的，可能是因为是个包的关系吧！

但是，最终还是告诉自己

放弃吧！

他是永远也不会喜欢上你的!

Sorry!

2009-07-23T23:26:00.000+08:00

Sorry!
Sorry!
Sorry!

If you read my blog and feel worried for me, i am so glad to know you that you are concern about me.

Anyway, i am okay now.

The suicidal thoughts are gone now!

REALLY!

Thanks lot for being there for me.

I love you ppl!

I love God who sent these wonderful people to me.

Goodbye to this world.

2009-07-23T19:47:00.001+08:00

Why cry?

I thought i told myself not to cry before?

I did?

Then, why did i cry again?

It is really painful, telling myself that this is reality.

Reality is i had 3 Us for my mid year.

Reality is my father passed away.

Reality is my god-father passed away.

I kept telling myself that i am ok.

I am ok with reality.

It hit me hard but i thought i can handle it.

Today, i just realise that i could not handle these reality at all.

Who will be happy to get 3 Us?

Who will be happy that her father passed away?

Who will be happy that her god-father passed away ?

Who?

Who?

Who?

Please tell me who, k?

I will ask why is he or her so brave?

Because i know i am not.

They said that i am so strong.

I am not.

I need a shoulder to cry.

I need a time for myself.

I need help too.

I kept trying my best to hide myself.

I kept..

But i realise i cant, cause there is no reason to hide.

I cannot do the anything at all.

Practically, i am nothing at all.

Though i know that i cant say such things, i am a child of God.

He loves me.

He will not let me do sinful thing.

He will not..

However, i will repent after i do this thing.

I am so sorry.

I didnt mean to choose this road.

However, i guess this is the only way to stop the things in my life.

I only want to end this life.

Then,
no more pain,
no more suffering,
no more crying.

No mather what way i tried to end my life, please understand Lord, i am only a 17 years old girl who cannot stand her life and her family.

I didnt mean to choose this method but i guess there is no one on this earth who will support me or love me anymore.

Then, i will rather join you in heaven, knowing that you will love me.

Amen.

我还想他

2009-07-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

就这样。。

他是慢到不行的金牛座。
我是快到不行的水瓶座。

在这场感情的圖里，我们是不会碰面的线。

但是，为什么我还要当笨蛋？

JJ- 我还想他（改编版）
泪水将我淹没
到底谁该难过
究竟是谁放掉这段感情

我才終于明白
辦不到的承諾就成了枷鎖
現實中幸福永遠缺貨

請告訴他
我不愛他
笑著難過
自我懲罰想終止這
一切掙扎橫了心說真心謊話

別告訴他
我還想他恨總比愛容易放下
當淚水堵住了胸口
就讓沉默
代替所有回答

我才終于明白
辦不到的承諾就成了枷鎖
現實中幸福永遠缺貨

請告訴他
我不愛他
笑著難過
自我懲罰想終止這
一切掙扎橫了心說真心謊話

別告訴他
我還想他恨總比愛容易放下
當淚水堵住了胸口
就讓沉默代替所有回答

我不愛
我不痛
我不懂我的心早已掏空
真心話言不由衷

請告訴他
我不愛他
笑著難過
自我懲罰想終止這
一切掙扎橫了心說真心謊話

別告訴他
我還想他
恨總比愛容易放下
當淚水堵住了胸口
就讓沉默代替所有回答

別告訴他
我還想他
就讓沉默代替所有回答

WOW day!

2009-07-15T23:13:00.000+08:00

I went home early today though i wanted to stay back and studied in school. However, i went to toa payoh library to finish up my math tuitorial. This is seriously the WOW part of my day. I met two incidents which is like super WOW.

1st incident: Weird aunite asking for money.

To be truthful, my sister is the one who met this auntie. She was despositing her money while she met the auntie. The auntie saw that she "had" a lot of notes and asked for some. OH MY! Can you believe it? This actually happens in Singapore and at the ATM machine. This is like super direct and ridiculas.

2nd incident : A man folding incense paper in the LIBRARY.

This is even worse. I walked in the library, expecting my day to be better. In the end i saw this guy who use the library table to fold incense paper. My sister didnt see that and wanted to take the seats beside him. I walked away and almost told the whole library about how ridiculas to fold incense paper in the library. The table is for people to read and do their work. Or maybe, that is his work la.. HAHA!

RIDICULAS DAY! Hope that tml will be a better day!

Mid year!!!!

2009-07-09T22:08:00.000+08:00

I know that crying is useless...
I know that I cant do anything to change my mid year result...
I know that I really did badly for mid year..
I know ..
I know..

I know a lot of things but i dun know what to do. I am really very disappointed with my result. Though i truly only spend two weeks studying for mid year, but is my standard that bad? I started to wonder whether i should be in JC? Is it the right choice to be in lep? Is it the right combination of subjects ?

There are just too many questions in my mind. I knew there is only one answer, God. He had a plan for me. I will follow it. These are just challenges in my life. I am gonna face it with Him. I knew that i am not alone at all. I had Him. So, i decided i am not going to be a loser who just cried for the result and do nothing about it.

I am going to STUDY MUG and do all things to make my pass my promos and get to J2. With Him, i had nothing to fear. He let me into nanyang not for any reason. SO, i dun believe my result is truly that bad. I am gonna stay in library everyday! I am gonna find the teacher for consultation until they are scared of me! I am gonna to mug like mad!

The time given is so short. However, i knew that in Him, all things are possible!

AMEN!

To darling!

2009-07-05T21:58:00.000+08:00

DARLING!
你在哪里？为什么我找不到你？
我CALL和SMS你好几次，你却没有回答！
你不见了吗？还是我的电话有问题？还是你在躲我？
我只知道明天要看电影，但是，我不知道与你约的时间和地带。这么办？

所以，这首歌是送给你的，但我KUSONG了它。

我比想象中想你-JS

飞的越远越看不见
你阳光下灿烂的笑脸
在天和海之间
那条界限
慢慢地走远
你曾经是我的地平线
你有没有一点想念
我们一起前天的MSN
有种恋的感觉
在心里面
那么的强烈
而这一切好象只是昨天

我才发现我比想象中想你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静
我诚实的分析我自己
还是不可否认地

我比想象中爱你
浪花掠过沙滩边际（海风就像你的呼吸）
我又看见我们的脚印（那仿佛是回忆的痕迹）
如果遇见幸福的机率有千万分之一
不顾一切也要找回你
我才发现我比想象中想你
只是一时不小心错过了你

每当夜深人静
我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒
还是不可否认地

我比想象中爱你
噢噢~~ 终于发现我比想象中想你
只是一时不小心错过了你

每当夜深人静
我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒还是不可否认地

我比想象中想你

three movies ..

2009-06-25T20:56:00.000+08:00

i watched THREE movies within two weeks !!

cool! i love this june holiday! even though there is no exended holidays..

Last week, i watched the ghost of the girlfriend past.

On saturday, i watched dance subaru.

TODAY, i watched tranfomer TWO!!

I love the three movies!

Ghost of the girlfriend past is soo sentimental..

Dance subaru makes u feels like DANCING..

Tranformer TWO gives you a feeling tt you wanna to be that GAL.. ( the bf is soo cool, like the way how he treats his gf)

HAHA!

so watch ALL three movies if you hav time and $$ ..

父亲节

2009-06-21T21:35:00.000+08:00

第一个没有他的父亲节。

习惯了吗？

当然还没。。

但是，我只敢在别人的背后偷偷地哭。

因为，我不希望让别人看到我的眼泪。

我哭，不是因为我想他。

我哭，是因为我的软弱。

为什么，我不能不想他？

突然好想玖

2009-06-18T01:30:00.000+08:00

玖，我突然好想你。
朋友都觉得你不值得我这么想你。
也许吧。。
有人说，爱情是麻木的。
的确，
爱上你的那一刻，我已经不顾一切了。
就算，
我现在多么想要放弃，也没有那勇气去放下了。

突然好想你
词曲:五月天阿信
最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息

想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今
终于让自己属于我自己
只剩眼泪还骗不过自己

突然好想你你会在哪里过得快乐或委屈
突然好想你突然锋利的回忆突然模糊的眼睛

我们像一首最美丽的歌曲变成两部悲伤的电影
为什么你带我走过最难忘的旅行然后留下最痛的纪念品

我们那么甜那么美那么相信那么疯那么热烈的曾经
为何我们还是要奔向各自的幸福和遗憾中老去

突然好想你你会在哪里过得快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
最怕此生已经决心自己过没有你却又突然听到你的消息

你不要再让我不时不时地喜欢上你了，因为我怕了。
我最怕已经决心没有你却又突然听到你的消息。
虽然我常说暧昧是幸福的，但活在猜疑及害怕当中，这一点，从来都不是幸福的。

我希望一切停止。
我希望我们能再次回到以前，或许，我不需要突然想你。

FLOORBALL chalet and bbq

2009-06-05T21:54:00.000+08:00

FUN!
FUN!
FUN!

andd..

AWESOME...

I love the chalet and bbq a lot. HAHA! most prob beacause i was drunk~

HAHA! But many things become clear too. From my view la ..

HAHA! I still cannot forget the fact that they kept mentioning tt name!

I become so violent when i heard tt name. most prob because i was rejected!

I WAS REJECTED!

It was the three words that i kept saying thoughout the drunkness moment.

Even though i love the moment when i can just sleep directly, i cant stop thinking of him.

HAIZ

Kill me pls.. I really cannot forget about him!

HAIZ HAIZ

HAHA! But i love the ppl who joined in the drinking !

WE SHLD HAVE ANOTHER DRINKING SESSION~!

I LOVE AWESOME PPL!

I LOVE TO DRINK!

I LOVE TO BE DRUNK!

I LOVE TO HAVE HANGOVER!

I LOVE TO FLOORBALL!

I LOVE THE CHALET!

I LOVE THE BBQ!

I LOVE THE GAMES THAT WE PLAYED!

I LOVE THE TALKS AND CONFESSION WE HAD!

AND

AND

AND

I THINK I STILL LIKE HIM!!!

HAHA!

MAYB I AM DRUNK NOW!

Changes

2009-05-30T21:18:00.000+08:00

I dun kno
I really dun kno

Is it because of the school,cca or even us?

I can feel that our relationship really change. You are no longer the one that i used to know. I started to believe in what they say about you. They barely knows you but i know you for so long. Should i believe in what in they say about you? Or should i trust the friendship that we have all these year?

My world is no longer just black and white. There are so many things that turn grey. I do not even know what is what colour! Why cant it be black and white?

Why cant everyone show their true colour?
If you say tt i am acting, FINE.. Then, i must say that you are a better actor than me.
You are the good guy, everyone thinks that i am bad guy. LIKE WOW!
Why cant u tell me anything tt you know?

Am i over-reacting?
Am i over sensitive?

I dun care..
I just wanna to say out what i dun like..
I wanna shout it LOUD!

PLS PLS i dun like these changes..

I DUN WAN THIS PERSON TT I KNOW!
I WAN THE PREVIOUS ONE!

Return tt person back to me..

小绿的一天

2009-05-28T21:39:00.000+08:00

小红在我的窗前，每一次有风时，它总会动！

小蓝还活着，但是我估计，多两天，它就要走了！

哈哈！

每天的幸福指数都飙升到100 点。

引用ALICE 常用的话，就是“我多开心！”。

谢谢 DARLING！你的小蓝，真的有让我飘了！

谢谢 HONEY！你的小红，真的在每次有风时，动了。

谢谢 DAR DAR！你的小绿，真的有让我AA到了极点！

哈哈！

YAYA, 我还在等你的！

哈哈!

我真的觉得好幸福！

能够认识你们！

能够与你们作朋友！

能够成为你们的好朋友！

好幸福阿！

幸福到~

我想吟一首诗！

诗人就是我！

《笑》

笑言笑，

笑笑，

笑一个！

整首诗的基调是开心的。诗人为了表达她的情感，而写了这首诗。属于豪放派的诗人，不顾诗有什么格律，就写了这首诗。这更显示诗人的冲动及豪放。

哈哈！

不诚实的人

2009-05-24T22:47:00.000+08:00

哈哈

最近，我发现我的身边出现了很多不诚实的人。
明明就是喜欢他，却不敢讲出来。
有些人不是不敢讲出来，只是害怕自己不是真的喜欢他。

害怕做出错的决定。
害怕会错意。
害怕他没有想象中那么喜欢自己。
害怕自己会出丑。
害怕事情不是自己所要的。
害怕最后连朋友也做不成。

这么多的害怕，导致你整天神经兮兮。
给你一个建议，做一个了断吧。
直接一点，
问他，
你是不是喜欢我？
如果他是好男人，他会立刻给你答案。
如果他拖泥带水，这种男人不要也算。

最重要的是，你已经解脱了！
你不需要每天为此事而烦。
这样，不是更好吗？

可能是因为我的性格很直吧！
所以，我会这样做。
但是，我认为喜欢就是喜欢。
如果他不喜欢你，你再这样做，结局都会是一样。

好好痛快地把问题解决。。这样，生活才不会被打扰。
我只能说这么多了，再多，我怕我会变成老太婆。

哈哈。。

总之，不要老了才来后悔为什么当初没有这么做！
ＬＩＶＥ　Ａ　ＬＩＦＥ　ＷＩＴＨ　ＮＯ　ＲＥＧＲＥＴＳ！

单身公害

2009-05-22T22:32:00.000+08:00

haha! i was listening to this song and will like to share it with everyone! AND.. Since someone wants a translation, i will try my best to translate the lyrics of this song. XD

单身公害 by 蔡依林

oh乖不能再战败
( good.. pls dun fail again)
站起来你还没出皇牌
( stand up .. you haven take out your weapon)
恋爱这竞赛你要放手一博放得开
( in this love competition , you muz learn to let go)
oh乖你擅长被淘汰
( good.. you are always the one to be eliminated )
后冠都派完你还在发呆
( the winner is crowned and you are still stoning XD)
没人靠过来
( no one wants to stand here)
太高贵别人会转台难怪在派对惨败
(too high class.. no wonder you will fail during party.)

没人疼没人爱小心单身是公害
(no one dotes no one love, be careful that bachelor maybe a harm)
优雅的在使坏他才会离不开
(elegant is playing bad so that he will not leave)
没人疼没人爱小心单身是公害
(no one dotes no one love, be careful that bachelor maybe a harm)
小心寂寞对健康有害
( be careful, lonely maybe harmful to body.)

oh乖你擅长被淘汰
( good.. you are always the one to be eliminated )
他们情人都换到第几代
(their lovers have to change to which generation)
你是反面教材
(you are a bad role model)
周末夜爱却留白一再在舞会惨败
(weekend no life and lost in the ball again)

不要怪身材要怪脑袋你应该重新再倒带
(dun blame your body, blame your brain. you shld re-start everything)
观望的等待怎么会盛开
(looking and waiting does not help to blossom a new love)
难怪让爱不痛不快
( let love be no pain no fast)
明天才做谁的乖乖牌
( tomo then be some other good good )

没人疼没人爱小心单身是公害
(no one dotes no one love, be careful that bachelor maybe a harm)
优雅的在使坏他才会离不开
(elegant is playing bad so that he will not leave)
没人疼没人爱小心单身是公害
(no one dotes no one love, be careful that bachelor maybe a harm)
小心寂寞对健康有害
( be careful, lonely maybe harmful to body.)

haha! hope that my translation helps..

骑士

2009-05-19T23:35:00.000+08:00

好希望生活中，能出现一个骑士！我不需要王子，但我要骑士！

亲密

2009-05-18T22:45:00.000+08:00

最近，刚看了一部电影《亲密》。起初，我真的被这部电影闷坏了；甚至曾经后悔用了10 块钱。但是一切观点都换了，就因为这个影评。

这是岸西导演的第一部电影，影片继承了岸西式的缓慢节奏、散落讲述、温情又充满悲伤。看的出来导演的用心良苦，影片不时穿插着青马大桥上汽车轰鸣而过的情景，两个主人公在车里发生一系列心理变化时，车外走丢的狗，散步的老人，玩滑轮的年轻人，通过这样细小又一闪而过的镜头，突出了这不过是个生活小品，在大都市的一角发生的爱情故事。或许不是爱情，因为从头到尾都没有人提过这件事，但是看的人都明白，两个主角汤少和阿佩是心灵相惜的。我们在这个钢筋水泥的城市，不过是一个被生活和工作束缚的生物体，像阿佩和汤少一样，就是这样窄小又破陋的写字楼里，他们一样可以被彼此吸引，这要感谢暧昧。

导演采用了倒叙的方式，新颖的地方不是穿插讲述，而是从头至尾的倒叙，片尾字幕缓缓升起时，我们定格在一年前，暧昧滋生的地方。在场的很多人为这种倒叙的方式不解，甚至有人看不明白开始和结局，我想导演应该不会在乎这些的，像《海角七号》一样，这电影是拍给有心人看的。给那些经受过暧昧的洗礼，为情所困，一地伤痕的人看的。

这是一个公司的市场部，市侩又计较的球叔，内向不说话的小聪，时尚又多嘴的珠珠，温柔细心的阿佩，在工作和家庭上都饱受压力的汤少。出场的人物很少，因为故事很简单，在这样狭小的办公环境里，阿佩和汤少没有理由的被互相吸引了。

一年前，汤少埋怨公司热，没冷气，阿佩贴心的找出小电风扇和电池。然后公司大厦失火，阿佩和汤少逃上天台，在汤少大堆的抱怨中，表现的是一个中年男人对未来的惶恐，家庭，太太，女儿，未出生的儿子，公司，业务，每一样东西他都要担心，如果每一样东西都可以保险，有条不紊的继续生活下去，那他会不会就飞似的逃出这个城市去找寻失去的自我？此时的阿佩不停的安慰着他，两个人在看似一堆废话的对白中，心的距离逐渐拉近了。没有经历过的人不会明白，要接近一个人的心，有的时候只是那么一刹那，他感觉到你明白他，就是这么简单。所以当阿佩说准备辞职时，汤少欲言又止，他想要她留下来，又用什么理由呢？说她在这样一个没有花红没有医疗保险的公司会有前途？还是说他听到她要走，心里居然荡漾出大片的舍不得？这就是暧昧滋生的土地，在一个看似绝望的环境里，找到一个可以让自己感觉到温暖的人，所以阿佩留下了！
十个月前，阿佩、汤少、球叔一起去见广告商，接待室里球叔惶惶不安，他无时无刻不担心有人在用闭路电视监视他，做过太多亏心事的人就会草木皆兵。时逢星期三，球叔找了个借口跑到楼梯口去买马。阿佩无意中触碰了闭路电视的开关，看到球叔偷偷买马的事。她和汤少相视而笑，这就是暧昧的肥料，他们共有的小秘密和语言，一些只有他们能明白的笑话，一些只有他们懂的话。汤少抱怨身心疲惫，想彻底休息一下，阿佩建议说周末不去打高尔夫球就不会这么累了，汤少无奈的告诉阿佩，如今的客户都会打高尔夫球。所有人，也许连汤少的老婆都以为他是喜欢打高尔夫球的，可是这天以后，只有阿佩知道他为什么要学打高尔夫。就是这样一个男人，为了生活和工作的压力，连周末都被剥夺的男人，找到了一个可以听他说真心话的红颜知己。

六个月前，整个部门去应酬。珠珠喝多了，呕吐、神志不清，小聪寸步不离的守护着，关心着，这就是另一种形式的暧昧。珠珠是知道小聪喜欢她的，但是她不想拒绝，或者是舍不得拒绝。因为被人关心着，注视着可以让人更自信也更温暖。珠珠是典型的城市小姐型，有些自私，有些八卦，又有些娇气。所以她也不会拒绝小聪。看着他们两个一个走一个追的情景，阿佩体贴的笑了，这是一种心理上的共鸣，因为她明白小聪。接下来是她替喝醉的汤少开车，然后对着一个睡着的人大段大段的自白。这是因为暧昧在心里膨胀成爱之后，有苦难言的委屈，还有暗恋在心里斡旋的温暖。这是暧昧的并发症，当你有千言万语的话想讲给一个人听，却没有机会和立场的时候，就只能这样趁着他迷醉时对他吐露心声。“怕你知道，又很想你知道”如果你试过这样喜欢一个人，你一定会理解的。

三个月前，八号风球。阿佩独自站在西贡码头等汤少回来，期望夹杂着失望，除了狂风骤雨，弱小孤单的阿佩什么也没等来。出租车抛锚之后，阿佩一直在尝试拨打汤少的电话，也许她来这里只是为了偷偷看他一眼，不被他看到，也许她希望被他看到，这些都不重要了，因为在最落魄的时候，汤少的车从阿佩身边飞驰而过。这样的见面方式，一定不是阿佩一直期待的，在她最需要他的时候，她要的不只是一个简单的擦肩而过。阿佩绝望的站在雨里，欲哭无泪。这个片段之后，我再也没有见到阿佩真心的笑过。她终于认识到暧昧之后带来的难言的苦楚，她与他的心灵亲密，却只是他生活里的过客。

两个月前，阿佩和珠珠在西餐厅吃饭。珠珠在讲述球叔如何跟厂家拿回扣的时候，无意中说出这件事还有小聪知道，那时候她和小聪的关系也已经很亲密了吧？而阿佩关心的不是这些，只是会不会连累汤少。这时候，汤少带着太太女儿出现在餐厅门口，此时的阿佩很尴尬吧？要做到像朋友一样坦然简单却困难。如果安慰自己他们本来就是朋友，阿佩的心会痛，她不时的皱下眉头，就说明她不能忍受。可是距离感确实是有的，这又该怎么解释呢？汤少的太太从洗手间走回来，正在自乐自美时，一个气球爆在身后。这是她看不见的东西，在破裂，在撕扯。

一个月前，汤少的同学和阿佩上次在码头认识的司机同时来找他们两个午饭。此时的小聪和珠珠也在眼神上有了微妙的变化，珠珠的眼睛里依然是自己，小聪的眼睛里却多了很多询问和不满。这是暧昧的化学反应正在消退的表现，他们感情的变化像法国菜的配菜一样，很好的映衬了阿佩和汤少的感情。电影用珠珠和小聪的进展来表现阿佩和汤少的感情进度，却一直在主人公身上着力表现心情变化，也许这就是文艺片和商业片最大的不同吧？阿佩和汤少四人在电梯里是一段很微妙的描写，同学的自说自话，司机小江不时的斜眼观察，只有阿佩和汤少两个人是不自在的。很多时候我们都会这样，期待与一个人接近，接近的时候又恨不得飞出那个狭小局促的地方。这是矛盾，也是悲哀。暧昧是有距离的，突破了这个距离就会失去所有的神秘和美好，这是两个人的默契，也是潜在的规则。可也是这种默契，迫使两个人不能再走近。

一个星期前，阿佩去找十三年没看过的医生，一个曾经和她妈妈有暧昧的医生。阿佩说妈妈是因为子女才叫爸爸搬回家住的，医生却若有所思的告诉阿佩，不要这样想，因为谁也不知道你妈妈在想什么。十多年过去了，当初的暧昧成就了今天依然心灵相通的知己，虽然不会再见面，但是有一个如此懂自己的人又是多么的难得？所以阿佩问医生，你们是从什么时候开始不一样的？她其实是在寻找一个答案，来解救自己。可是当她发现这种暧昧无迹可寻的时候，她不得不面对现实，谁也不知道是哪个眼神或者微笑，让我们听到自己心底的碰撞。在爱与不爱之间的，叫暧昧的东西！

今天，还是这五个人，还是汤少的银色两厢小轿车。球叔说小聪最近失恋了；小聪拒绝再和珠珠说话；珠珠以为小聪出车祸流露出一种焦虑和担心，现在开来，在影片最开始的这段铺垫，恰恰是导演想说明，一切到了该结束的时候。汤少给阿佩介绍了新工作，这与一年前的表现截然不同。阿佩气愤，委屈，却也相对无言。离开是不舍得，不离开是没完没了的伤害。阿佩气汤少的懦弱和薄情，她觉得他想打发她走了。所以阿佩赌气的说，你开了我吧，还能多给我一个月的工资。暧昧的最后是会这样的，两个人都觉得是时候离开了，却谁也无法狠心先说再见，于是就会把这样的权利推来推去，因为这样才会在心理上被动承认，我们结束了。又或许，从来没有开始过？当阿佩赌气要下车的时候，汤少又于心不忍，把她带到海边，他们都知道迟早是要结束的，可是又都在和时间挣扎，多一分是一分。汤少的电话响起，这个男人始终不是自己的，还是要还给别人的。听着他对妻子的温存话语，还留恋什么呢？还是要懂得成全，懂得放手，过自己的生活的。所以阿佩下车，一路走回去，汤少一路跟着，终于在阿佩决然进入铁闸，把这份暧昧重重的关在门外之后，汤少也走上了回家的路。

至此，影片结束。一部简单温情又触动人心弦的爱情小品。

其实看文艺片不是要用心，光是对着屏幕暗自使劲儿什么也看不进去，更多的是要用感情，重要的是理解。

每天我们会遇见形形色色不同的人，也许某一天的某一时刻，你

身边就出现了一个可以和你心有灵犀的知己，这个时侯请你记

住，只要暧昧，不要相爱！

失恋

2009-05-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

不如趁早，放手把爱坠落让满地鲜红。

作不成的爱人，变成最好的朋友。

我相信时间可以冲淡一切。

其实失恋也没什么，时间长了，就好了。一个人也没什么不好。

失恋也代表下一次的恋爱开始了。。

I DUN LIKE HIM

2009-05-10T00:04:00.000+08:00

AHH!!

I DUN LIKE HIM ALREADY!

WE ARE JUST FRIENDS...

or forever...

好辛苦

2009-05-06T23:34:00.000+08:00

好辛苦！

被暗恋的人很幸福，但暗恋的人很辛苦。

虽然我不知道他是否幸福，但是至少他不用每天苦恼下一步要怎么走。我深怕自己会走错下一步，所以不敢走。但是，如果不走的话，时间将停止在那一刻，关系也会停止，什么都会停；但只有我的喜欢不会停。

我应该主动一点吗？他却又是保守派。
我应该原地不动，就等吗？他却又是一个木头。

这样也不可以，那样也不可以。。。头脑好乱，心又更乱。

你可以不要每天这样的折磨我吗?
我害怕有一天，我会发疯！！

没原因，就是喜欢你！

My situation!

2009-05-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

I am in love with this song!!

羅志祥 - 幸福不滅

作詞：嚴云農作曲：阿沁 (F.I.R.)

沒原因就是喜歡妳在初次相遇
又重逢的心情深呼吸
讓心動隱形完美的愛情
是無聲的旋律
聽我聽妳不確定的語氣
等我等妳放下妳的憂鬱
嘿如果你輕輕閉上眼睛
我會明白妳做的決定

Cause i believe 那幸福不滅的定律
在你手心會有誰誰給你的美麗
緊張痕跡就讓我的心安靜地守著妳
祝福不用回憶

沒原因就是喜歡你
就像海全面天空般的心情妳靜靜看著妳背影
就足夠時間
無條件的放棄
妳如果妳愛上他的心靈
愛如果已沒有我的空隙
嘿只有妳可以用點開心
我會情願漸漸被忘記

Cause i believe 那幸福不滅的定律
在你手心會有誰誰給妳的美麗
緊張痕跡就讓我的心安靜地守著妳
把祝福送給妳

oh i believe
Cause i believe 那幸福不滅的定律
妳的手心不一定要由我握緊
就像恆星總會有發光的原因
oh i believe
妳值得被珍惜
也值得我放棄

class bbq and floorball outing

2009-05-03T21:26:00.000+08:00

YO!

Love the class bbq .. FUN

Especially the part when we act out the love story song.. XD

We shall do tt again and upload it!

Anyway, floorball outing is fun too! Even though i am not there..

A lot of things coming up! I cant wait for all the tests .. HAHA!

HSK cum outing

2009-04-19T12:10:00.000+08:00

WHAT!

We need to pay 10 dollars just because we did not wear our uniform!

WHAT!

Why do we need to wear our uniform? It is to show that we are students. Then., what is the use of my ez card? I can actually wear my seconday school uniform since they insist to wear uniform. The most antagonized thing is that we asked about what should we wear. AND someone did tell us that we can wear home clothes! ARGH!

ok.. anyway, paid 10 dollars and did the exam.

For the outing, it is fun. Though the dinner is super duper ex ( i think that my this week is gone case ) , but i enjoyed it. haha! Happy Birthday nana ! for today and tomorrow is gero ! Anyway, we found our best position , so hopefully we can keep it that way.

LOTS OF HMWORK!

CCS IS A SUCCESS!

SHIRT THINGY IS 3/8 DONE!

MY CLASS ROX!

HAD A DRY DAY BEFORE CCS!

I REALLY WANNA TO WEAR THAT DRESS SOON!

NOT GOING BACK TO THAT PLACE!

DARLING AND HONEY ROOX!

FB A DIVISION COMMIN SOON!

GUYS, JIA YOU!

LEP CAMP IS COMING!

MY CLIQUE ROOOX!

GONNA TO PASS ALL TEST WITH As!

HOPEFULLY

HAHA!

I ROOOX!

( if anyone from fb , pls start to pay rest of the payment. haiz... another looooooooooooooooong shark week.)

April FOOL

2009-04-01T22:38:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HAPPY APRIL FOOL!!!

Firstly, i will like to wish my sister a happy birthday and happy APRIL fool. She is older now and 16 !! I pull her along for N16 movie!! HAHA!

Secondly, the oreo thingy really works!!
LOOOK AT MY RESULT.

3 teachers
my floorball team
AND a number of victims !!

So wonderful to know that many ppl love oreo. The new combination of "green tea" and cream.

Lastly, you made my day high and low. Can you stop doing that? I dun like it.

ARGH!!

Floorball

2009-03-29T21:12:00.000+08:00

Just came back with prizes from floorball match. I love the those ppl who pushed me, they didn let our team get a goal but manages to give me a prize.

My leg is super painful now!!!

Fine, everyone knows already ( including her). SO WHAT?

It does make a difference in my life but i haven see the difference only. If i could not stand any of such things, i will go for confrontation. HAHA! Scary, but i love the idea of it. You will know the answer right after it. So that, your life can have another target.

Ok! Now, it is the time for my "favo" subject,CSC. bye!

( i am talking to myself again!)

SCHOOL IS FUN !

2009-03-25T00:22:00.000+08:00

I am enjoying my jc life. Though my teacher says that we should be stress up and want to study more, but i seems to ignore. Or should i put it in this way, my class helps me to igonore it.

Let me sum up my school life for these few days or weeks !

TEN THINGS THAT MAKES MY SCHOOL LIFE ROCKS!

1. I am still able to go for cell due to my sat tuition. I thank God that i am able to make it for almost every cell meeting.

2. Floorball simply rocks my life. I love my zi cai ( my stick ). I bet everyone who sees it, will also love it.

3. I have a GREAT bunch of friends who always help me and take care of me. They are always the joke of the day ( HAHA!) or the reason that i wanna to come to school daily. THANKS PPL!

4. I have another GREAT bunch of teachers who love to give homework. Though some of their jokes are very lame, but thanks for cracking it out to let me know that there are even lamer jokes than mine.

5. My stoner club is currently recuiting new members! All potential stoners, please come and look for me!!

6. My friend and i have great enhancing programme. We will accompany each other to eat papayas daily. ( for those people who dun understand, its ok! )

7. I found singing partners! I may not have a good voice but i can SING! Just tt my pitch will be lower !! (HAHA! )

8. GREAT school with GREAT hill! Just realise that i asked a very stupid question today, i ask where is the staffroom ( third or second floor ) . SO STUPID! It cannot be second floor cause our school is practically started on second floor. XD

9. I found my lst crush. :)

10. I found my 2nd crush. :)

I am NOT flirting! XD

I am still the INNOCENT shuwen!!

DUN LIKE HIM

2009-03-16T23:39:00.000+08:00

SUPER DUPER DUN LIKE HIM!

HE IS IRRITATING!

HE IS SO ACT!

HE IS ALL THE BAD THING ADD TOGETHER!

My blood is boiling at the moment. I dun kno what to say BUT i am super duper angry.

ARR!

I SEE YOUR TRUE COLOUR! HAHA!

I AM GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!

WAIT TILL YOU KNOW MY POWER!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

JC LIFE

2009-03-02T21:58:00.000+08:00

Fun..
Exciting..
Tiring..

I finally decided what cca i wanted to join. However,i still ponder about it. I love floorball especially the stick. But the thought of travelling to kallang for training, it is really freaking me out. I still have to travel to kallang ALONE tomorrow due to my lesson which will end at SIX. It is so sad. That is like my only reason which is pulling me back.

I love my class. The class drama is on daily. We have new focus daily that you will never be bored in our class. Everyone takes good care of each other. LOVE THEM! I love econ too! A bit more on the teacher side. HAHA! Cause he loves to stone. He seriously beats me in the stoning part. I cant stone as much as he does. HAHA! With joy and vice president beside me, his lessons are even funnier. Oh ya! With van , you can notice every single guy de sheng cai ! HAHA!

It is a joy to be in this class. Though the teacher and homeworks are killing me, i hope that i can stay on with the help of my class!
HAHA!

0935

2009-02-15T11:13:00.000+08:00

I LOVE MY CLASS!!

THEY ARE SOO COOL!!

WE GONNNA HAVE CLASS OUTING SOON!

GONNA HAVE CLASS TEE

AND NOW

WE HAVE

THE CLASS BLOG

I LOVE NY!

I LOVE 0935 TOO!

NYJC

2009-02-03T23:12:00.000+08:00

Yeah! I am in NYJC! ( yawn...)

Am i happy or sian? HAHA! I dun even know..

Well, i got in NYJC because of CLEP.

So, i dun really think i should be in NYJC.

However, i cannot imagine myself doing groupwork in poly. I am the si si du shu type.

Anyway, i will get help if i need it.

He put me there for a reason.
I will trust in Him. I will follow His plan. His plan is perfect for me for He knows me well.

AMEN!

I am !&

2009-01-24T20:30:00.000+08:00

(Shaking.. Shaking.. )

HAHA!

I am 17 now.. haha!

Feeling super tired ..

Especially when you still need to work on your BIRTHDAY!

HAHA! But at least it is a "special" way to celebrate my birthday.

I kind of missing the way that my clique will celebrate my birthday for me..

Yo!

When are you all going to celebrate my birthday???

My students are super funny today.

I am teaching SS today.

HAHA!

There is this student who wants to F___ whoever i said.

( Apparently, we are talking about chapter 2 on population growth.)

HAHA!

Anyway, my family members brighten up my day by bringing me to eat swensen.

We even ate the earthquake!!

Thanks to everyone who wishes me happy birthday! Thank you for the smses and facebook!

I kind of enjoy my day! So, i hope that everyday of 2009 will be the same as today. (NOT the tired part but the eating part) HAHA!

Wishes:

It's my BIRTHDAY today.

I wish everyone around will be bless in everything they do. They will always be happy! I wish that my family will know more about God and He will take care of them. I wish JC/poly will not be that hard that i can cope and go on to year 2. I wish to have more time to spend with my family and friends. I wish that I will be able to have a closer relationship with Him.

YEAH! OLDER BUT WISER!!

love you

2009-01-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

I REALLY LOVE* YOU!

*my clique

Thanks! I really enjoyed myself yesterday.

However, i hoped that is not my birthday celebration! HAHA! Anyway, i am having sunburn on my face. Even though it cannot be seem on my red cheek ! haha!

I really hope to have another outing again. ( hopefully, to celebrate my birthday! ) I started to miss those time when we had together. Those good and old times.

I missed those planning days for everyone's birthday. We always tries to crack our brain and make it special. Though we failed many times , i must admit that there are still times that it is a success.

I missed those IVP times. When we help and support each other, though we face a lot of rejections by you-know-who. haha!

I missed having break together. When we can talk together and laugh together.

I missed those times when we have to stay back for CCA. We always find things to entertain ourselves like the class bear. ( or to cut hair)

I missed those result times. Rmb? When Miss Poon walked in and saw a brunch of gals crying at the door. Haha! We really cried like mad.

I missed those movies times. Emily so mad about L and all of us just dun care about her. Haha! We managed to watch L change the world and death note.

I missed those study times. When we tried to study together , but always distracted by someone. ( SOMEONE who always want to eat or sleep)

I missed music marathon. When we practiced our singing together and had our lunch after the performance.

I miss so many things that i wanna to have time machine so i can go back to sec one.

Now, though we need to go on with our life. We maybe physically separated from each other. We maybe busy with our school work or ( other things*hint hint*) . We maybe using study as an excuse in order to do other things. I pray hard that we can still gather every month to catch up with one another. We can still be the support for the each other. We will still call each other and tell them lame jokes.

because...

I WANT OUR FRIENDSHIP TO BE FOR LIFE.

NEW YEAR

2009-01-01T12:52:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2009 to ALL...

May God bless you in everything you do. He will be your refuge and strength for you. He will bless you with good health. Rmb His love and let nothing stops you for the year 2009. We gonna do things that are not within our limits. We gonna explore and find out more about the people around us. We gonna rmb our close friends and keep strong bond with them.

There are so many things to do. So, 2009 gonna be a FUN and LOVING year!

My 2009 resolution

1. I gonna to learn a new skill.
2.I gonna reduce my waist from 22 to 20.
3. I will go church whenever i can.
4. I must go every cell group meeting.
5. I will enjoys this year and joins everything that i can.
6. I will go out with my friends whenever i can.
7. I will make sure that my students learn well.
8. I will spend more time with my family.
9. I will conquer the world's SALMON.

YES! TT ALL .. CUZ its 2009 ...9

HAPPY HOLIDAY ! AND JIA YOU FOR THOSE TT ARE GOING TO SKOOL TOMO! :)

SALMONIN AGAIN

2008-12-30T20:37:00.001+08:00

You can never guess what did i do yesterday.. ..

I WENT TO EAT SALMON AGAIN ..

HAHA!

WITH MY MUM ..

I know , I know.. You are shocked. However, it is a fact.

I will show you all pictures then.

SALMONIN

2008-12-26T22:37:00.000+08:00

FOODS!

MORE SALMONS...

ISOBEL"S SALMONs...

haha.. yummy..

WOW...

CHERYL TRYING NEW STUFF...

YUMMY!

I ATE ALL THESE..

SALMON SASHIMI

I had a reallly great day today. Yesterday, i played monopoly with my sisters from 12 am to 3 am. I won cause the two player owed me money and went bankrupt.Haha! I even managed to build SIX hotels. so FUN!

For today, i went to sakae sushi with my cell. It is fun cause we tries a lot of new stuff. AND with Cheryl, we can just try and try and try. She will help to finish the foood if you cant finish it. This is goood. Next time when i want to try any new stuff, i will bring cheryl along. LOL. I shoot a lot of photos. SEE IT !! haha!

Twilight

2008-12-18T18:09:00.000+08:00

Watched Twilight that day.. .. It is a rather good show. The guy is super cute in some ways, i think. Anyway, hope to watch more movies soon.

I am super not good with primary school student. Thank God for letting me knowing this fact earlier, so that i will NOT choose early childhood as my course if i am going poly. They are too high and have lot of energy. I must admit that i am OLD in front of them. I am so restless after each session with them. The secondary students are so much better. At least, they are not energy consumer. They are just energy taker. haha!

Going to learn a new skill soon. haha!

I'm not OKAY

2008-12-09T17:22:00.000+08:00

Thanks for everyone's concern. I am really fine.

My family grew stronger everytime. I can feel it. Though we tried to cheer each other up, but there were still times we need to be alone. It's ok to cry. It's normal to cry. I guess that those were words i heard or i could say to whoever who could feel the pain.

He has always been the funniest person i ever know.
He is the one who taught me to forgive and forget.
He is the one who tried all methods to heal my skin condition.
He is the one who supports me in everything i do.
He is the one who helped me to catch dragonfly when i needed it for science project.
He is the one who will fetch me home whenever i called.
He is the one who will cut the fruit i wanted to eat.
He always knew what is on my mind.
He will always pays attentions to my need and concern.
He taught me calligraphy and chinese poem.
He is the one who marked my chinese composition.
He is the one who protected me whenever my sister bullies me.
He is the one who made jokes just to earn my smiles.
He is the one who called me "ma fan yang" or "cute cute de".
He is the one who will cook my favourite dish.
He is the one who gave me extra cash when i dun even need it.
He is the one who look up for chinese words in the dictionary when i only need it for my zuo ye.
He is the one who called all my aunties everyday just to talk to them.
He is the one who always says "Any problem? No Problem."
He ensures my anxiety and only gaves me the best he could.

He is .. . .

He is .. ..

There are so many things i could remenber he as. Though my sister kept complaining that she did not have enough time with him, i guess my only complaint would be having too much with him. I always remembered as the one who picked up my calls when i called home. The one who sit at that chair to welcome me home. The one who i worked with and the one who kept me laughing. Now, that he is gone. The house seems to be empty. There are so many people in the house but i know nothing can replace him.

We used to complain that he did not want to work. Now, we hope that he would just stay at home. Sometimes, i still hope that everything that happened was just a dream. Nothing happened. The ambulance did not come to my house. I did not attend the funeral. Everything is just as to normal. However, i knew i cant cheat myself. Facts are facts. He is gone and never come back.

There were times i grumbled that i am only 16. I should not be the one who faced such things. He has always been a healthy man with no diseases. I grumbled that why must him be the one who is taken away. I looked at those who smokes and drinks at their 60s and 70s. I complained that life is so unfair , he did not even smoke or drink and he was just gone. Life is really unfair. Maybe, somedays i will be gone just like him. Fast and without pain.

However, i cannot imagine the pain that my family will need to take. I cant.

Maybe, God has plan for him. He is susppose to be in heaven when the accident occured. But, he bargained to stay for one more year so that our family can pulled though tough times. God wants him to enjoy in heaven with him and need not suffer anymore. He will be and will look after our family just like what he always do.

There is only one thing i could tell other people. Treasure those around you. It mays seem like they will be there forever but they will not. Do take time to appreaciate them and what they did. Treat everyday like there is no tommorrow. They may be here today but gone tommorrow. There is no point to fight with your love one. Cause when they are gone, you willl be the one who regret whatever you said. Treat them well even if you are not happy with what they were doing. God must have His reason to put you all together as a family.

I knew i can stay strong.
I knew i would.

However, i know i can never forget that handsome guy tt is deep inside my heart.

I LOVE YOU, DADDY!

My day as a tutor

2008-11-26T11:25:00.000+08:00

I AM UPDATING!

Haha!

Kind of busy for this week. SLEEPING, EATING AND SLACKING.. haha!

Yesterday, i spent my whole day with lot of people. I finally got a call and was able to start work yesterday. It was busy but fun. Everyone of them has different speed and i need to cater to their needs. Anyway, I was on hot demand. Everyone was calling me teacher! It felt good!

haha!

Dun really have anything to blog liao!

WHAT CAN I DO?

Prom is fun.
Primary school outing is fun.
Sleeping is fun.
Tutoring is fun too.

PROM PROM

2008-11-13T21:39:00.000+08:00

*blow dust*

HAHA!

It's been a long time since my last post. I really want to do this now.

I FINISHED MY RACE FOR SECONDARY SCHOOL!!

It's such a good feeling. I want to eat sashimi right after paper! HAHA!

Anyway, i been going these two days for cambridge dinner to search for the dress. I brought another dress which is totally different from what my sister brought for me. I hope she does not mind. It's so tired to shop and talk at the same time with so many people. However, at least we did manage to get some clothes. I am so excited for the dinner. I hope that it will here soon.

I GOT a job now! However, i wanted to get another job too! So, i am gonna be super busy this holiday, no time to waste!

PPL,
pls book me before i am too busy tutoring ... haha!

I MISS MY SCHOOL!
I MISS MY FORM TEACHER!
I MISS MY CCA!
I MISS CHAPEL!
I MISS RECESS!
I MISS LUNCH BREAK!
I MISS MASS STUDY!
I MISS PRACTICAL!
I MISS CLIQUE!
I MISS MY CLASS!
I MISS MY JUNIOR!
I MISS EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IN THE SCHOOL!

too many misses to express! and i am very random!

( I had done my best and i will leave the rest to Him. For i have faith in Him, that my prayers were heard and answered. He is the wonderful Father.)

O O O

2008-09-06T09:23:00.001+08:00

After Prelims, will be FULL POWER to O level. I will finish the race with a smile.

ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE WHO IS RUNNING THE RACE TOOO! JIA YOU!

Ps: Last post before O level ends.

( Crying is useless. It will not bring the dead back to life.)

Olympic

2008-08-26T20:17:00.000+08:00

RILEY SALMON YOU ROCKS!!

HAHA!! Prelim is here. TOMORROW, will be the battle against human geography and HCL. I hope i will win. NO! I WILL win cause the Lord is with me!!

SALMON WON GOLD for volleyball. GO USA!! ALL the WAY!!

DPA DPA DPA

2008-07-21T18:25:00.000+08:00

My butt is super duper big in this picture !!!

Sipei just got the call from TP. At least she got a call ... .. I do not know whether i will get one. I am having a very super duper mixed feeling now. I worried that i cannot get the interview. On the other hand, i want to trust in the Lord and believe in His plan. I know He got a plan for me, but i want to know about it too. That is just one thing that Human cannot be patient. MAYBE, God is testing my patience .. .. HAIZ

It's ok then. Let's think of it in a good way. Maybe SP is busy. Maybe the phone got problem. Maybe they want to test my patience too. THEN, i should wait. I will wait.

Trust in Him , for His plan is wonderful.

The PL musical is AWESOME. Love it. Hope that i can catch the next one too.

:) NEW house

2008-07-06T17:10:00.000+08:00

New room
New location
New lifestyle
New walking distance
New HOUSE

WILL it be a NEW beginning????

These few weeks are tiring. I love my new house but hate to move from my old house to new one. I just decided next time i move to anywhere, i will just keep those things i NEED N LOVE. Other than that, i will THROW it away. Or else, it is taking too much space and time to move them. HAHA:)

blossom birthday surprise

2008-06-17T09:35:00.000+08:00

XD.. .. I am suppose to be in school. HAHA.. .. I got muscle strain la. So, my family wants me to stay at home instead of spend my time in the school. I thought i got good leg muscle. But after 5 rounds in the parks, i doubt that i got good leg muscle. Anyway, i went to fish & co at novena yesterday, to give blossom a surprise. She is shocked but cannot really see that on her face. (as usual .. .. HAHA) There were a lot of funny things during that celebration and the study session at the library. I will just name the top 3 ba .. ..

The 3rd place goes to .. .. Wan lin's blur blur incident

Emily wanted to borrow that fann wong book. However, there was something wrong with the system or her card. So, she went to the service counter. Initially, we were waiting for her at the side of the counter. We find it wierd that we are standing there so we wanted to wait outside. BUT, wanlin seems to be so interested at the counter uncle that christabel and i were outside of the library and she still stand at the same position. ( we did not tell her that we wanted to go out.) HAHA! Then, she turn left 180 degree and right 180 degree. AND a 360 degree turn. HAHA! But she still did not realise that we are outside until she really went out of the library. HAHA!

BLUR WANLIN

The 2nd place goes to .. .. Isobel's wedding

We were talking in the library about some topic that we lead to the topic of wedding. Then, we discuss about isobel's wedding. HAHA! We talked about how blur she will be at her wedding. HAHA! For example, she will be eating while the pastor is talking. Then, when it is time to say i do, everyone will look at her. She will be like saying "what". Someone will tell her that she need to say i do. Then she will say "oh, i do"HAHA!

AND

AND

AND

The FIRST PLACE goes to BLOSSOM and the FISH&CO workers

They sung her a very special birthday song. WITH HU HA inside .. .. At first, it is just a CHEER. Then it is the song. HAHA! I think the most funny part is that they made her hold two yan huo in her hand, while they are doing the thingy. HAHA! I think i should load the video on my blog, then you will know how funny it is. HAHA!

HAHA! fun day for monday but sad that it is the last week of the school holiday.

study with liying

2008-06-14T20:59:00.000+08:00

:)

I met liying on Monday to study. HAHA:) to study. But actually we only spent 1 hour at the KFC. AND the one hour consist of gossiping and crapping. HAHA:) I seriously need to spend time studying. I did not study for almost the whole holiday except for doing homework. What should i do??

I am so addicted to drama series that i am like watching it everyday. My sister cannot believe that i am a o level student. ME TOO! I am still behaving like i am in primary school. HAHA:) Playing some only girls online games... My younger sister just shout at me, saying that i am childish. My reply is that my childhood life is being destroy by her, so i am trying to find it back. HAHA:) rather lame reason to find to skip doing my homework.

School Holiday ?????

2008-05-30T19:14:00.000+08:00

oh my !! I still cant believe that it is school holiday ALREADY!! Why ???

CAUSE i STILL need to go back to SCHOOL!!

My tuition teacher says that sec four life is like that .. .. study study ...

I think after O level i should REST for one year before continuing my studies. HAHA!

I want to go ZOO, BIRD PARK.

Haha ! so random .. ..